Shepard:: Light & Dark,Change & Unchanging all woven together
by wolfamodais
Summary: Starts at the end of ME3 and goes from there. Will have moments of past events will also contain my OC along with other ME characters. Read the disclamer for more. F.Shepard/Miranda, Shepard/Liara. This is also not beta and is AU.
1. Chapter 1

**_So this is my take on the game and how it could have went in the end.  
__Something Bioware didn't use that would've been a great way to tie the Prothean artifacts and Javik into the game.  
__This could've been another option for the game. _**

**_Also this is AU and will have flashbacks of different parts of the three games. __It mostly will be of what happened after.  
I__t will also have some moments before the game dealing with Shepard's life before joining the Alliance. _**

**_It has violence, sex, foul language, and MATURE CONTENT.  
_**_**Also if Yuri , Femslash is not your cup of tea then you SHOULD NOT READ ANY FURTHER! **  
**Also no beta so all mistakes are mine. And of course Bioware owns Mass Effect 1,2,3, story,.. Except for what I've added as extra**. _

* * *

Chapter 1::…

If I stop today it was still worth it. _(__From Gia Carangi __)_

* * *

_-_-Start flashback Javik _-_

_He stood there waiting for Shepard to leave. Giving her time to escape. He was going over everything the starchild said and looking at the choices before him.  
Shepard looked at him one last time and put her hand on his shoulder to convey what she was feeling through the touch sensory he has.  
It was easier this way then to try to speak. _

_That single act spoke volumes and he was grateful for the last contact. __Then when Shepard was sure, she turned and made her way to the exit leaving him behind.  
As she left part of her felt guilt and another felt pride. She knew that he could feel it also. _

_So here he was on the Citadel but a very different part of the thing that was once the heart of his people's civilization and that had falling long before he was born.  
He found himself asking questions he knew would never have an answer. _

_Was this part of the Citadel always here or is it something more recent? _

_If new then why did this cycle not know about it? Or did they just hide it away for fear of what it was?  
So many questions unanswered or never asked in the first place. _

_Yet he also found himself asking if it was always here why his people never used it.  
Maybe this was the part that never got finished in time. _

_Everything was certain to him up until this point. Now the fate of all living species fell on his shoulders. The price was bigger then what was originally set before him.  
He couldn't falter now not so close to the end of his mission._

_He waited for what felt like hours to make sure Shepard was gone before he made is choice. Knowing that no matter his choice one has to be made even if that choice was to do nothing and allow them to fight to the end of their very existence. It was still a choice. __One he wouldn't take lightly. _

_He considered his options and what the starchild had said. What his people had endured and also what Shepard had accomplished. What this cycle had shown him.  
Many things fluttered through his mind as he took everything in. _

_He knew that he could choose to let the fate play out and see if this fight would hand victory to them or the Reapers.  
That was something he found himself a bit amused about because he knew it would only end one way and that way favored the Reapers. That thought was dismissed._

_He knew that destruction of the Reapers was what his people would of done.  
However while serving with Commander Shepard and seeing first hand that there was more out there and that he was left with two very different options besides Destroy. _

_Control or Synthesis. _

_Javik knew there was no way he was becoming a Reaper even if it meant having control. He knew that it also didn't mean he would truly have full control because that was proven by the starchild. _

_Synthesis however would bring the two together as one. However that would be forcing a decision on everyone and it was no different then what the Reapers was doing but it would bring peace ,.., or would it. _

_He knew what his people would do but, he now asked what would Shepard of done. In that moment he found clarity and chose the same thing. Destroy them not because it was what his people would do but also what Shepard would do knowing that the Geth and EDI would in a sense die. It also gave all life the chance to change and choose their own path. It was what they were fighting for anyways. _

_So he made his way to the destroy option. Flashes of his people with glimpse of pride on their face played before him. Then came the flashes of his time aboard the Normandy and the last one of Shepard with a smirk and a nod of approval. Then everything went black as the force of the explosion hit him._

_-_-End flashback_-_

The last thing Commander Shepard remembered before the calm took her was a warm blast of red light washing over her and she felt a crushing weight. When she was able to take in a breath the fiery pain swept through her. She didn't know how long she was knocked out.

She didn't know where she was. She started to remember things. The battle for Earth and the Reapers. She tried to focus on her surroundings but everything was black. She could taste dirt and metallic debris. Everything hurt and burned. The throbbing in her head was loud. She could only move her head. That in itself hurt and caused more pain.

She had to get help and she knew that if anyone was alive that finding her would be beyond a miracle.

She started calling for help. Then hours later her voice gave and she had to find another way. She was able to feel a medal pipe next to her left hand. She managed to move her hand and grab the pipe just enough to bang it against another piece of medal to start sending out an SOS.

It had taken three days for them to find Commander Shepard amongst the rubble. She was barely noticeable. Hallucinations were already sitting in. The rescue team was able to get her to one of the military makeshift hospitals in a ruined building not far from the original assault took place.

The medical team worked on her for several hours. It was touch and go several times. Someone was finally able to locate Miranda Lawson three days later. She was able to arrive at the location three days from the time they contacted her. Once Miranda was able to keep Shepard stable they were able to move her to better felicities.

It was more then a three weeks before Shepard was awake again. She had suffered sever injuries to many organs and her cybernetic that Cerberus had implanted was causing problems. With Miranda's knowledge they were able to keep Shepard alive and on the path to healing.

* * *

Now it was four months later.

Shepard was move to an apartment with Miranda and her sister Oriana. This was mainly for medical reasons and so Shepard could be around familiar people while she healed. Miranda had set up a room for her in the study that was going to be Miranda's office. Shepard was healing nicely with only a few complications with her ribs.

Now two weeks later and she was doing much better.

Taking Miranda's advice. However that could be due to the fact that Oriana was left home when Miranda had business to take care of. Today was no different and she was in her room while Oriana was making dinner.

She had on a gray tank top and her baggy cargo camo shorts along with her N7 hoodie and a pair of socks. She was stretched out on the couch. One leg stretched out with the other bent at the knee.

She had a datapad in one hand and the other was holding her Scotch. She knew that she shouldn't be drinking. Not with the medicine she was on for her four broken ribs and the torn ligaments in her right shoulder. The pain was not going away and it was hard to sleep.

She was thinking about what had happened during the last push for Earth. She was at the last stages of healing from the fall she took leaving the Citadel. Some of the pain she felt was guilt because she was the one who should of made the choice not Javik. Somehow in the mist of it all he managed to find his way to her and to the starchild.

To make the decision of how to deal with the Reapers. He pleaded and begged her to leave. He wanted no ,.., needed to be the one. To set things right. He was the last of his kind that they knew of and he had a mission to finish that was so long in the making. She understood this and with a heavy heart left.

A knock on her door and Oriana voice startled her out of her thoughts.

'_Come in'  
_said Shepard as she sat the glass of Scotch down and out of sight.

'_Um ,.., I hope I didn't disturb you Commander Shepard,but dinner is almost done. Also Miranda will be home late.'  
_Oriana said with her usual quite tone.

Shepard looked at her and was slightly sad that Oriana still insisted on calling her Commander Shepard.

'_Oriana please you don't have to call me Commander Shepard. No one does anymore. Just call me Marz.'  
_Shepard was taken back by the sound of her given name. It had been so long that anyone had said it that it seemed foreign coming out of her own mouth.

That very line she just spoke was not so different from what she said to James Vega moments before the Reapers hit Earth.

__-Flashback_- James ''Commander''_

_Shepard "Your not suppose to call me that anymore, James''_

__-End Flashback_-_

Of course most of the time people just called her Shepard. So to many that was her name. Even to her it was like "Shepard" had replaced most of who she was. She was pulled from that thought once again at the sound of Oriana voice.

'_Ok, I'll try to remember that. Oh,,.. before I forget. We have had word that the Normandy has been spotted and should be in Earths orbit in the next twelve hours.' _

As Oriana spoke she was not sure if she should of said anything concerning the Normandy.

Considering the fact that Shepard hadn't spoken of anything concerning the war or the aftermath of it. But when she looked at Shepard face she seen a bit of hope.

Shepard tried to keep her composure. She looked to Oriana and with a nod and a slight grin.

'_Thank you Oriana. I'll be there in a moment.'_

With that Oriana left and went to finish dinner.

All kinds of things went through Shepard mind as she went to put away her Scotch and the datapad she had been looking at. Could the news be true. If so was the crew alive and if so what state would they be in. It had been close to six months from the last time she seen any of the remaining crew that left on the Normandy.

She had a few moments during her initial stages of healing that her memory of people and some places was lost in the mist of it. In other words she had lost some of her memory for a short period of time and had some bouts of memory loss up till lately. It was something everyone had expected to happen due to the damage her brain had sustained.

A few moments later she was at the table with Oriana. Halfway through dinner Miranda made it home. Miranda looked exhausted. She took a job at the local clinic to help with the many solders that needed help that only someone like Miranda could give. With her research and work on the Lazarus project she was the best they had.

Miranda was quiet during dinner and into the later half of the night. She looked like she was lost in thought. Oriana tried to talk to Miranda while they were cleaning up after dinner, but was only met with cold replies from Miranda and finally told drop it and leave her alone. This caused Oriana to storm off to her own bedroom and slam the door to her room. Miranda finished cleaning up and then went into her own room. Shepard over heard and seen some of it play out while trying to make her way back to her own room.

Once inside her own room Shepard got comfy on the bed with another datapad and the remainder of her Scotch. These next few hours were going to already be hard for her to go to sleep and with the anxiety of knowing that the Normandy was making its way back to earth would not help her sleep if she got sleep at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2::…

Cowboy take me away_(From Dixie Chicks)_

Miranda was standing in the kitchen. Her arms wrapped around her waist. He head slightly down. She felt angry and crappy for how she dealt with Oriana and her bloody questions.  
She kicked the chair leg and stormed off into the living room. The apartment felt could and eerily quiet as she stood there looking around the room.

While Oriana was in her room sulking and Shepard was in hers reading Miranda went for a walk. So she grabbed Shepards leather N7 jacket and left. She felt like she needed to clear her head.  
There was so much that had happened even before the Reapers hit. Some of which had to deal with Shepard and herself. Now with the news of the Normandy's return everything was or would change again.  
She had been giving Shepard time in hopes that they could talk on Shepards terms but now she knew she had to push the issue. As she walked she pulled up a song list from her omni tool.  
It started to play Nielsen 5th Adagio movement.

_-_-Start flashback Miranda_-_

_She was no older then 8 and Miranda was standing on a grassy hillside twirling and giggling as the sun glisten in the cool misty breeze.  
__She had on a white and yellow flowered sun dress. Her feet was bare and she enjoyed to feel of the soft wet grass.  
It had just got done raining and only mist was left. He father was watching from the balcony and smiled at her as she waved to him._

_-_End flashback _-_

As she walked and that moment played in her mind. She felt anger and ashamed of what her father became. She looked up to her father even with all the absurd demands put on her at a young age. He was a self righteous arrogant bastard. As she turned the corner headed towards the clinic a street lamp flickered and she was able to see her reflection in a dingy window.

Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Besides Shepards jacket she had on a blue long sleeve tee and comfy slacks and a pair of gray kicks as Shepard called them. It was so not like her typical self.  
This was so Shepards fault was what she thought at first. Then a smile came to her face and another song started. Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

_-_-Start flashback Miranda_-_

_She was not yet thirteen. Standing in the doorway. Watching as the party around her went on. It was for her sister Oriana. Her father had successfully created another "her''. Oriana was only a baby at the time of this party. So in realty it was for her father. She had decided to sneak out while she could. Her friend Stue would be on the rooftops painting one of many walls for his art as he called it. _

_She made her way out the window and down a lattice and to the street. She laughed as her feet hit the dirt. She was for this moment free from her father and his ego. _

_Twenty minuets later she was climbing up a latter to a building that overlooked the bay. Stue was sitting on a empty barrel and handed her the spray can. Something that was hard to find because so much had change from the time Earth kids used to do this. _

_-_End flashback_-_

That song summed up so many events in her life as she walked the streets of Australia in defiance of her father. Oh how she missed Stue. Sadly he was killed when his fathers colony got ambushed by slavers.

This was no her beloved Australia but it was home. Home that was an odd way of looking at things. She didn't ever consider having a place she could truly call home before. Not until Shepard came into her life as more then her Commanding Officer.

That was where she was having trouble. She didn't know where the two of them stood. Yeah they were friends but where they more. Sure they sleep together the night of the Omega 4 relay suicide mission. Was sex all it was. If so then why did they do it again on the Citadel before she went after Oriana. She knew why. It was a way to say goodbye to feel again just in case she didn't make it back. Because it wasn't just about her sister, it was about the damn Reapers. It was her selfishness that took over and got Shepard in that bed. It was her calculated coldness that took over when Shepard wanted to talk about it after and all she could say was now wasn't the time. She got up and dressed and left before Shepard could stop her.

Here they were once again. They bet the odds. DAMN Shepard and her bloody hero saves the day crap and lives to tell about it. At that moment is when she realizes she is at the park. She remembers Admiral Anderson talking about this before all hell broke out. He was born here in London just down the street from this park. She sat down on a bench. Stretched her legs out and pictured kids playing and laughing and a sadness swept over her.

_-_-Start flashback Miranda_-_

_**Medical Correspondence**_

_From: Illium Medical Center, Prenatal Care Department_

_RE: TEST RESULTS, PATIENT 12-66AD-1_

_Miss Lawson,_

_As per your request for privacy, this message will be removed from our database upon confirmation of send integrity._

_While we cannot firmly attribute the cause of the benign neoplasm to the irregularity in your genetic makeup, we can confirm that the progressive damage renders you unable to conceive a child._

_About 12 percent of human women ages 18–54 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant according to data obtained from the Institute of Species Research (ISR). There are many support groups if you wish to discuss your condition and several options available should you wish to consider the adoption of a child._

_If you require further consultation, please contact our communication officer._

_Sincerely, _

_Dr. Banner Grenway_

_Department Medical Director_

_Illium Medical Center_

_-_-End flashback_-_

That was something that gnawed at her even more so now. She found herself questing why Shepard went back to Liara.

Was it because she couldn't have children?.

Was it because she didn't talk to Shepard about that last night together?.

Did Shepard even want children?.

Even with her perfect genes she was by many standers flawed as a woman. Yet Oriana was able to have children. Was that the reason why her father created Oriana. Because he discovered the flaw. Oriana was to be the one to pass on the perfect genetic genes.

Maybe it was why Shepard was with Liara. She was with her wasn't she?.

Oh great another question that I can't bloody answer. Something else we have to talk about. Why is this so damn hard?. So many questions and the outcome was undetermined. Sure there was things that could lead her to a conclusion of how it would play out. There has been plays written about such things and some true stories about it also. No matter what has been written no of it could help her because it was her life and different factors involved so the outcome couldn't be totally accounted for.

It was starting to get cold. So she stood up and started to head home. She remember a time when she used to read about cowboys and them saving the girl. Then she remembered how as a teen she wished that someone would save her. How she used to listen to a song about a cowboy saving a girl. She now wished she would of downloaded that song on her omni tool because now she desperately wanted to listen to it.

She was starting to think of Shepard and how in so many ways Shepard was the cowboy she used to wish for. Well except at the time the cowboy was a boy named Niket. Niket was not really anything like the song but at the time she had never even considered being with a female. All that change when she was with Shepard. Then just like that the song Cowboy take me away started playing and she knew Oriana had messed with her omni tool. This time she wasn't mad. She even found herself singing with the song and thinking abut her time with Shepard.

I said I wanna touch the earth I wanna break it in my hands I wanna grow something wild and unruly I wanna sleep on the hard ground in the comfort of your arms On a pillow of blue bonnets in a blanket made of stars

__-_-Flashback_-__

_The engine room. Shepard walked up behind her. Put her hands on her waist. Pulled her close. She sighed as Shepards breath brushed against her neck. She was trembling in Shepards hands. As Shepard turned her around she looked in her eyes and Shepard kissed her. _

_Miranda-: Shepard I …._

_Shepard-: I know. It's ok , Just let me take care of you._

_Miranda-: I…. Ok_

__-_End_-__

Oh it sounds good to me I said Cowboy take me away fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue Set me free oh I pray closer to heaven above and closer to you Closer to you I wanna walk and not run, I wanna skip and not fall I wanna look at the horizon, and not see a building standing tall I wanna be the only one, for miles and miles Except for maybe you, and your simple smile

_-_-_Flashback_-__

_They were talking in her office. Miranda talked once again about her fathers tailoring. Shepard said she was jealous the genetic mutt the Illusive Man put in charge. _

_She tried to point out it wasn't a bloody competition and that based on Shepards combat record she was practically a bloody perfect human specimen. And not to get cocky. _

_Then out of nowhere the kiss. And oh what a kiss. Then Shepard being Shepard did show some cockiness and smirked as Miranda stumbled away unable to think strait._

__-_End_-__

Oh it sounds good to me, yes it sounds so good to me, Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue Set me free, oh, I pray, closer to heaven above, and closer to you Closer to you I said, I wanna touch the earth, I wanna break it in my hands I wanna grow something wild and unruly

__-_-Flashback_-__

_Miranda-:Shepard so do you want me around?._

_Shepard-:I'll always want you around Miranda._

_Miranda-:I was …. *Kiss on the cheek* never mind._

_Turns and leaves._

_Later in the elevator. _

_Damn my pride I should of told Shepard the truth._

__-_End _-__

Oh it sounds so good to me, Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue Set me free, oh, I pray, closer to heaven above, and closer to you Closer to you

__-_-Flashback_-__

_Standing in Sanctuary on Horizon after saving Oriana. I pull Shepard close._

_Miranda-: Shepard promise me you'll be careful._

_Shepard-: You know I can't promise that._

_Miranda-: I know. *sighs* Damn it you ass._

__-_End_-__

closer to you, cowboy take me away, closer to you

Before she knew it Miranda was running home. This had to end. She had to talk to Shepard. It was now or never because in the next ten hours the Normandy would be landing and Shepard would be there and everything would change again. If she was going to loose Shepard she was going to do so on her terms and knowing that Shepard knows how she feels.

As she opened the door to the apartment she was a bit out of breath. She had never ran so hard so fast before. Well not without getting shot at and dodging bullets and crazy mad men. She took off the jacket and smiled as she hung it up on the coat rack. She took a moment to catch her breath and made her way to the kitchen for a glass of water to try to calm her nerves. As she walked pass the hallway she seen the light was on in Shepard room.

That was a good thing or at least it could be because waking Shepard up was something you didn't want to do. She didn't know if Shepard was always a total ass when being woken up or if it was something that came form being a solider. Anyways that was besides the point and she was getting off track again.

So after getting that drink and her nerves calming just a bit. She was now standing in front of Shepard door. Trying to calm herself again because now being this close her nerves kicked in and it was like she was a teen all over again and finding her first crush and getting her heart broken.

* * *

**The songs are **

**Cowboy take me away- Dixie Chicks**

**Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Geen Day**

**Adagio Movement- Nielsens Fith Symphony**

**I will try to update as fast as I can. Thank you to who reads it and gives feedback. Good or bad.  
I will also try to list the songs and who they are by if I can I will also list if another person has recorded the song before if at all possiable. **

**Also thank you to who suggested Miranda and Shepard end up together. I will consider that and see where this story goes.  
****I myself don't know. So we both will find out as the story goes on. I also don't know how long it will be. I hope for at least 5 chptrs. **

**Anyways thank you all for reading.**

**Wolfamodais.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**So for the ones who has issues with violance and rape please DO NOT read the second flashback part of this chapter.**_

* * *

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Chapter 3::….

I touch myself._(Divinyls)_

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When Miranda had kicked the chair leg Shepard peeked out of her room to see what was going on. Miranda was standing in the living room with her back to the hall that leads to Shepards room.

Shepard quietly watch Miranda, as she was looking around and could see the hurt on her face. She was even able to hear the angry sigh that escaped as Miranda took Shepards leather N7 jacket and left.

Shepard would of said something to just about anyone else about taking that jacket but this was Miranda and she also looked good in it.

Shepard stepped back into her room and closed the door.

She walked over to the couch and sat down. She couldn't believe that she just did that. She had let Miranda walk out with her jacket on. Then she thought that maybe she should go after Miranda.

With the shape she was in she wouldn't get far before the pain got to unbearable. It also was not like Miranda was some kind of damsel in distress. Unlike Liara had been when they first met.

__-_-Flashback_-__

_Therum_

_You take Tali and Ash with you. The Normandy SR-1 comes into contact with the planet and drops the Mako and your team for planet side extraction. So once you kill off a few Geth you make your way into a cavernous bunker type building you come across._

_Then you kill your way through more Geth then take the elevator down. Your own thoughts was…__Oh great we now go down into the abyss of hell. Once there you come across Liara T'Soni and she was trapped in a bubble. Then there was that thought of….Fucking hell yeah, my own personal damsel in distress and an Asari. _

__-_-End_-__

That cause a smile to grace your face. The both of you had change from that first encounter. Hell not even the being gone and dead helped. You couldn't truthfully say what changed you but deep down you knew what part of it was. That was the part that you now only shared with Liara. She has seen you completely for who you are. All the things you have done and still remained by your side.

Hell some would say that it was the loss of your twin brother Paxston that changed you and made you more cold. However that wasn't the case you were being change before that and maybe because of what happened you were able to accept Paxston death.

__-_-Flashback_-__

_Shepard was only 14. It was a hot Friday morning. Math class just let out and she was on her way to a biology class. When she got slammed into a wall by a group of girls. They started beating her and laughing while they did it. The more she tried to fight back the harder they hit her. _

_She was then dragged off down a flight of stairs and into a alcove. One of the girls ripped her shirt and another one took of her pants. _

_They held her down and hit her in the head until she was close to loosing consciousness. That was when she heard a male voice. Her first thought was thankfully a rescuer. That was until he's word became clear to her._

_Male-: Now girls don't kill her I want her alive and aware of this._

_The girls laughed and then left. _

_She couldn't quite make out who he was. She could tell he was tall and stocky. Not as much muscle as a star athlete would have but he was not to far off. She could smell the smoke coming from his clothes. Also a sweet smell like vanilla. She heard the familiar sound of a zipper. _

_Male-: You know I'm already hard. Must have been watching what the girls did to you. _

_He comes closer to her his body pressing up against hers. She can feel his penis hard against her leg. She tries to fight him off but she is to badly beaten to do so and he overpowers her. Pining her hands above her head with only one hand holding them there._

_Male-: I knew you would be a fighter. That's why I paid them to help me out with this. _

_He leaned down and kissed her while his other hand forced her legs open. She could feel him shift and in a moment he forced himself inside her. She began to scream but he muffled that with his other hand. _

_Male-: Oh how tight your are. I barely fit. That will change once you get wet. I will shove the remanding 3 inches inside you and enjoy stretching you more then I already have._

_Oh God. She could tell he was beyond average just in thickness alone and to know that there was more in length. Would she even survive this._

_A few moments of him thrusting into her and he made a grunting sound. Then the pain rocketed through her. He had pushed himself inside her all the way to the base of his penis. He was so deep that it hurt and she could feel his balls on her ass. When he did this he smirked and then laughed._

_Male-: Oh looks who is not a virgin anymore. Oh the blood that gushed out of you. I so got to taste that._

_Then he reached his hand down and toughed her. Wiping at the blood between her legs and him. He brought his hand back up and stuck his blood soaked fingers in his mouth the forced her to suck on his fingers also. She was tasting herself, him and the blood._

_Time felt like it stood still. He would kiss her and suck on her breast as he thrust slow into her. Then he began to thrust harder and upwards with each one causing her pain. As his pace quickened his thrusts stayed just as hard. He then put his hand around her neck. _

_He would watch her eyes close before removing his hand again. Soon his breath became rapid and his body went rigged. He had cumed inside her. As the final bit of his sperm entered her he laughed._

_Male-: That was beyond what I imagined. However there is so much more I have in store for you._

_She felt sick. More so now. He waited till he was starting to go soft before her pulled out of her. Then she heard the girls return. Her torture wasn't done yet. The girls grabbed her and dragged her to her feet and out a side door and into a waiting van._

__-_-End_-__

That was only one of the many painful memories. She hit the table next to the couch and let out a scream. That's when she really died. In that moment when she was being raped. Then nothing was ever done about it because he was some government officials son. She got up and went into the bathroom and splashed water on her face.

This was something she would have to live with. Now Liara knew and she held them memories also. Liara her damsel in distress. Her anchor in the chaos that has become her life. She knew getting sleep now was not going to be possible. So she went back to her bed and got comfy.

Once back on the bed she went back to reading what was on her datapad. She was reading about how her mother had helped a drowning girl in Lake Brahms on the planet Watson just before the Reaper war.

__-_-Flashback _-__

_Paxston was Shepards twin brother. He was named after the Roman goddess Pax who was the bringer of peace. Unlike herself who was named Marz (Mars) after the Roman god of war. _

_The Shepard family was not shocked at the names when the announcement came. The shock came when it was reviled who had what name. Now however the way it all played out was like her mother just knew. The names suited them both. _

_It was no more then 11:30am when the call came into the station. A lifeguard called in a drowning victim and a possible suicide. _

_The rescue team tried all they could to save the two people. A male bystander told the rescue team that Paxston was trying to save the young lady. She was in the riptide and as Paxston tried to help, she panicked more and ended up holding him down. When asked why he didn't help he just dropped his head in shame and said it was because he couldn't swim. Shepard was just 19 when she lost her twin brother Paxston. _

_Paxston also left behind a wife who 6mts later was beaten raped and killed when batarian slavers raided her family's colony home._

__-_End_-__

A single tear streamed down her cheek at that memory. She put down the datapad and got out of bed and went to the window. It had started to get colder out. The sky was starting to darken indicting that a storm was on its way. She placed her head upon the cool glass and closed her eyes as she let out a sigh.

__-_-Flashback_-__

_Shepard was standing in her cabin aboard the Normandy SR-2. Liara was with her and her back was turned to Shepard. Liara had her arms crossed at her chest. She looked at the fish tank on Shepard cabin wall. Tears began to fall. She lowered her head and Shepard walked towards her. Only to stop short when Liara spoke._

_Liara-: So how are you doing Marz? I mean really and not what you tell your squad to keep moral up._

_Shepard-: Between you and me I have no idea how we are going to do this. I'm doing everything I can but,….._

_Liara walks towards her. _

_Liara-: You've done more then most. _

_Shepard then walks a bit past Liara._

_Liara-: You and your team destroyed the Collectors and walked out alive._

_Shepard turns a bit to face Liara._

_Shepard-: We fought them in their own base and won. They can't call us young and primitive anymore._

_Then Shepard turns her back on Liara. Liara then walks towards Shepard and Shepard turns slightly to Liara._

_Liara-: Young? You know I'm 108.…109 in a couple of months. _

_Shepard-: Ah I should get you something nice. _

_Liara-: Your alive again I've got everything I want. So tell me what you want? What are you fighting for? The future of humanity, as evidenced by the perfect Miss Lawson?_

_Shepard looks at her not wanting to say anything because in all honesty she is not sure what to say. Then before she knows it she says something that she has only envisioned in her dreams._

_Shepard-: No that's not it. I don't know. Marriage, old age and a lot of little blue children._

_Liara smiles and shoves Shepard then walks over to the table and puts her head down._

_Liara-: Goddess you were dead._

_Shepard walks up behind her._

_Shepard-:I got better._

_Liara stand up straight and suddenly turns just to find herself close to Shepard. Then Liara goes to walk away and looks to the window above Shepards bed._

_Liara-: This time but your going to leave again. When the Reapers finally arrive you'll dive into the fray._

_Liara-: I spent two years morning you so if we are going to try this I need to know your always coming back._

_Shepard takes her in her arms._

_Shepard-: I don't know that's a big promise to make. _

_Liara-: Ah is it?_

_Shepard-: I'll need something special to come back to._

_Liara-: I'm …. open….to suggestions._

_Shepard starts to kiss her._

_Shepard-: How about this._

__-_-End_-__

Shepard sighed as she pulled her head away from the cool window. So many memories some of which she didn't remember even having. She knew it was due to the damage her brand sustained the first time she '_died_' and some it was from that last fall she took before the explosion that ended the Reapers.

She was getting tired again. She didn't know if it was from standing so long or if it meant she was really healing as fast as Miranda said she was. So she made her way over to the couch and sat down and stretched out.

Hell it took her finding the photo of Liara in her leather jacket for her to remember Liara was blue. She knew somehow that Liara was an Asari but that meant little giving the fact that the doctor watching over her was a shade of green. Sea green to be exact and had red markings on her face and white markings running the length of her crest. Then there was the one who gave her the sponge bath. She was a dark shade of purple that had highlights of black skin and had some bright yellow covering her crest giving the appearance of hair.

She couldn't remember what a Salarian looked like before she seen it on a vid. They were so damn hyper and annoying. That somehow triggered the memory of Mordin.

__-_-Flashback_-__

_Aboard the Normandy SR-2 in Mordins lab._

_The two of them talking after the Collector base. Mordin talks about his work as STG and then about liking the patter songs of Gilbert and Sullivan. _

_Mordin then breaks out in song._

_Mordin-: I am the very model of a scientist salarian, I've studied species turian, asari, and batarian. I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology because I am an expert which I know is a tautology. My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian, I am the very model of a scientist salarian._

__-_-End_-__

That mixed with the fact knowing her gave his life for a cure of the genophage, that of which was something that he help create in the first place had her fight back a tear. In doing so she said out loud with a smirk on her face… Had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong.

That one act cost her the support of the Salarian scientist but the price was too high. So was loosing Mordin but she knew he was right. She always knew what the cost for someone's aid could be. Hell one of her favorite Earth movies had one of her favorite lines. One she found herself using at times.

'_Don't grieve, Admiral, It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.'_

That caused her to laugh. Oh but it hurt to laugh but the pain was a welcoming one. In that seen Spock talks about the Kobayashi Maru test and ask Kirk what do you think of his solution.

It is a test that has a no-win outcome. The last part of that has Spock telling Kirk he has and always will be his friend and in a final act gives the Vulcan salute.

Shepard dropped her head once more. So many times she has found herself in that place just like Kirk. Loosing friends because the needs of the many did outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. Just like she lost Kaiden. In a way that was Mordin.

Memories no more no less. It was what the ones who die for the greater good would end up as if they were remembered at all. Would they go down as heroes or villains? Will the ones who are born into this new cycle know or even care about what was done and who was lost so they could live free of Reapers. Hell even she knew that a new threat would arise and it could even be from an old enemy. For now at least the greater threat was gone.

She knew how it was to end. And not just killing off the Reapers. The technology was to be damaged if not completely destroyed and the Geth and EDI was to be wiped out also with the mass relays. She would have without a second thought destroyed them and knowing the cost. If she did manage to live through that she would of done so with the knowledge of what she done and yeah there would be guilt.

She also knew that before she left completely that the starchild made Javik another option. Because he was Prothean the option to destroy and save EDI and many of the Geth and a handful of the mass relays became an option.

She knew he took that option for how else could you explain the fact she was using a datapad and some of the many fleets were able to make it home. Some were still traveling just using FTL. Also the fact that she overheard Oriana and Miranda three days ago talking about the Geth helping to repair the mass relays.

But out of all that one memory has been playing in her head. It was something Javik said before he pleaded with her to leave and that was when he said….

'_I know…(a happy sigh)Liara is…. (a nod)Don't doubt she loves you.'_

She was starting to feel like she needed to go to sleep but she was not completely tired and she was so comfy.

Slowly her mind went to the moment before the battle of Cerberus headquarters. It was just her and Liara in her cabin once again. Slowly her head tilted down her eyes closed but not to sleep. Her hand slowly made its way to her stomach and slowly into her shorts.

She took a slow deep breath as her hand found her clit. She started to rub it and as she did her arousal became greater. But this wasn't about a quick release this was about slow pleasure.

__-_-Flashback_-__

_Liara makes her way into Shepard cabin and down to the sitting area. Shepard was sitting on the couch opposite of the fish tank. Holding her helmet in her hands looking like she was thinking about something deep._

_Liara-: I wounded where you where._

_Shepard-:EDI didn't tell you?_

_Liara-: She respects your privacy. __(Acts coy) __Not like me. What are you doing? __(sashays over to Shepard)_

_Shepard looks at helmet again and then gets up. _

_Shepard-: I thought I heard the casing crack during that last fight.__(tosses helmet to Liara.)_

_Goes sits on bed._

_Shepard-: Bullet must of just grazed me._

_Liara-: Do you feel ready Shepard?_

_Shepard-: You first._

_Liara-: huh. Very fair. __(looks at Shepards helmet) __What I want most is for this war to end. While there is still a galaxy left to save. __(looks at Shepard) __And everyone is counting on you to do it for us. It must be overwhelming._

_Shepard-: __(looks up at Liara) __How do you get ready for something like this?_

_Liara makes her way to the bed and sits down next to Shepard. Putting the helmet on a table._

_Liara-: You cajole, and threaten and make tremendous sacrifices. Until the galaxy relies it has someone worth following._

_Shepard leans back as Liara talks and then looks over to Liara._

_Shepard-: You think so?_

_Liara leans back also._

_Liara-: There is no doubt in my mind._

_Grabs Shepard hand looks up to the window above the bed._

_Liara-: It would be easy for a single ship to get lost up there. Wouldn't it._

_Shepard-: __sighs__ Yeah it would._

_Liara-: To find some place very far away so you could spend the rest of your life in peace and happiness._

_Shepard leans over and kisses her on the cheek then sits up._

_Shepard-: Right now there is no place I rather be._

_Liara sits up and touches Shepard shoulder and Shepard leans in._

_Liara-: Neither would I._

_They kiss._

_Liara-: I love you Marz._

_Shepard-: I love you to Liara._

_Liara-: Show me. _

_Liara goes in for the kiss. They then fall back onto the bed._

_It starts of as slow kissing. Then they both start to undress. Shepard sheds her clothes and lays back on the bed to watch Liara. _

_Liara gets up to shed her Shadow Broker armor. Then she sways back over to Shepard completely naked with her bionics shimmering. Liara slowly crawls on the bed and up Shepards body. _

_When she gets there they kiss. Its not gentle but not rough. Passionate and deadly needy. Lust and love blur the edges. Shepard kisses her way down to Liaras breast. Then back up again and as she does Liara initiates the meld. While connected Shepard takes one of her hands and runs it down Liaras back. That ignites a moan from Liara. Liara then kisses Shepards neck and sucks on her pulse point electing a moan from Shepard. Soon Shepard makes her way back to Liaras breast as one of her hand travels down and over her stomach and…._

__-_-End_-__

As Shepard remembers what happened her own arousal starts to peak and she inserts one finger into herself then two while her thumb strokes her clit. As the end of the memory comes full force she brings herself to climax and cums all over her hand while gasping Liaras name.

Shepard then got up and walked to the onsite bathroom and changed and cleaned herself. She was now beyond tired and was putting on a pair of boy shorts when a knock came to the door.

* * *

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So I just want to say that if anyone read this and was offended by the rape flashback then that is a good thing. Im not saying that I aprove of rape but it was someting use as a tool to give insite into Shepards phycie and also to shine light on the subject that almost never gets talked about. Because it does happen and when it does it can destroy a person completly and when nothing is done about it that brings on more pain.

You may ask how can I write about something so offencive and considered evil. Its because my twin sister went through it. I'm her brother and I feel guilty because I couldn't do anything because, I didn't know at the time. She is gone now, but it was something we talked about before she died. She always said that part of her life should be used as a tool to help make the world better in hopes that one day no one will suffer like she did.

I miss you big sis. I love you.

If you need help. Call the National Sexual Assult Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4::….

Sweet Dreams(_Eurythmics)_

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Shepard looked at the hologram clock next to the bed. It was only 2330hours(11:30pm), and Shepard shook her head. Thinking to herself…

_What the hell. Does everyone in this fucking galaxy know when I'm going to bed. _

Then she goes to answer the door.

Shepard opens the door and standing on the other side is Oriana.

Shepard lets out at sigh which was not lost to Oriana.

'_Oriana can I help you with something?'_

Shepard says trying not to sound tired. Honestly it sounded groggy even to her.

Oriana noticed the sweat and tired look on Shepard and noticed the groggyness in Shepard voice.

'_I just , Oh gosh your sweating. Should I try to reach Miranda I could I...'_

Shepard held up her hand to stop Oriana from rambling.

Somewhat embarrassed and terrified that Oriana had heard her. Shepard really now wanted this night to end.

'_I'm fine I just exerted myself changing is all.'_ Shepard said hoping that worked.

'_Oh, ok. I'll just let you go then.'_ She turned and started to walk away.

Shepard knew that there was more so just like any good Commander she stopped Oriana and invited her in.

'_Oriana, wait. I know there is something else so please come in.'_

Oriana just looked at her then nodded her head and walked in. All the while thinking.., _How does she do that, how could she know_.

Shepard shut the door and pointed to the couch. Then she grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself. The both of them sat down and Shepard waited for her to speak.

Oriana now felt really bad. She knew that Shepard didn't get much sleep as it was. Maybe if she just acted tired and excused herself, no that wouldn't work because Shepard already seen through her words. So she would just have to get this over as quickly as possible.

'_I'm not good at this kind of thing.'_ Oriana said and looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

'_It's ok just take your time and tell me what's going on.'_

'_I know your tired. I should just go.' _Maybe she'll just let it go.

Oh, Oriana giving me an "out" I should take it. Then she said just the opposite.

'_It's ok. Please, just talk to me.'_ Oh damn it all to hell. Why do I do that.

'_It's about Miranda. I don't know what is going on with her lately. Well that's not completely true. I know that she…(just say it) has feelings for you.'_

She looks over at Shepard and sees that she is taking it all in. Then continues.

'_I also know you slept with her. I'm not judging you. I don't know the details of what happened and that's not why I'm here. You just needed to know that whatever it was or is,.. Miranda isn't dealing with it. So…that's what I had to say.'_

Oriana takes a breath and hopes she didn't make an ass of herself or jeopardize Miranda's friendship with Shepard.

Shepard takes it all in. She knew something was bothering Miranda but didn't truly know it was that. She knew that they needed to talk. Hell that was something she knew they needed to do after having sex in the apartment on the Citadel. However Miranda just left and it was all cold like when she did it.

'_Oriana, I understand. I've been wanting to talk to her. She's just so damn busy.'_

Oriana got up to leave. Feeling relief that Shepard understood unlike other jarheads. So hopefully the tension would get cleared and for good. If that meant Miranda get her heart broken then it would be something she had to deal with. At least she would know where her and Shepard stood for certain. Because this line Miranda is walking is a dangerous one and no one should have to walk it.

'_Oriana thanks.'_

Oriana just nodded and shut the door behind her. Then went to her room.

As soon as Oriana was gone Shepard let out a breath and a sighed.

Shepard thought …_Well that was interesting_. Not moving from the couch she stretched out and tried to get some rest. The light was still on but it for now wasn't bothering her. The light was also soothing so maybe she may just get some sleep.

Slowly Shepard slipped into slumber. As she slept she dreamed.

__-_-Shepard Dream 1_-__

_Shepard was 18._

_Her and Nichi had spent the night in each others arms. Tangled and barely covered in white satin. She was happy. They both talked about what they wanted in life. _

_Marz was honest about joining the military and Nichi accepted it. Hell she even wanted to have children. Nichi tech specialist skills gave her an edge over where she could be stationed and the freedom of raising a family. _

_And oh them night so magical and peaceful. _

_Nights in white satin never reaching the end._

_Looking over to Nichi. The beauty she's missed with these eyes before._

_Just what the truth is she can't say anymore._

_Nichi touches her face and whispers Ti amo__(I love you)__, then closes her eyes and goes to sleep._

_Marz wraps her arm around her and whispers Ti amo__(I love you)__. Then she silently prays that these nights in white satin doesn't end._

__-_End of Dream 1_-__

Shepard opened her eyes just long enough to shift on the couch. Then sleep took over again and with it another dream.

__-_-Shepard Dream 2_-__

_She was home on shore leave. One year after basic and her first deployment. Her and Nichi had decided to settle on Earth. It was after all Nichi home. They were on the coast of Naples Italy not to far from Nichi family. The day was spent at Nichi brothers wedding. _

_Something Marz was looking forward to. _

_But nothing could prepare her for what she went through. She knew that Italians celebrated because her mothers family was Italian. But not very close due to issues she didn't know the details of. However this was like spending the day at some never ending festival. _

_When her and Nichi made it home she was tired. Her legs felt like bricks and her shoulders ached. So much dancing and walking and talking and eating. Oh how her stomach ached. Her head was starting to throb. It was almost 1900hrs(7:00pm) when they finally got home. _

_The wedding itself didn't start till 1300hrs(1:00pm). Nichi was apart of the bridesmaids so she had to be there early. And of course that meant Marz had to be there also. Because you know someone had to zip and unzip dresses and get coffee and the other whatnots. _

_But here they were final alone at home. That was when it started. Nichi yelling pointing fingers and throwing things. At first she didn't know what it was about. Then out of nowhere she started talking about Marz cheating and with someone Marz had little contact with. _

_The argument lasted way into the wee hours. It became pointless for her to try to tell Nichi that nothing happened and she didn't even really know the woman. So somewhere in the mist of it Nichi hit her and broke her nose while calling her a liar. Then threw her stuff out into the liven room. That was the night she slept on the couch and the last time they were together._

__-_End of Dream 2_-__

Shepard awoke from someone knocking on her door again. Shepard looked at the clock it was 0030hrs. She thought….

_Fucking Christ. Doesn't anyone sleep in this damn galaxy_.

Then the light hit her eyes. She forgot she had falling asleep with it on. Ok so it was her fault that the light was on and indicating she was awake. That was beside the point, because it was late anyways.

So she got up and made her way to the door just so she could tell whoever it was to go away. Then maybe she could get some sleep before the Normandy arrived.

When she got there and opened the door she was just about to tell them to go away. When Miranda captured her lips in a searing kiss. One that was forceful but genital all at the same time.

As she was being kissed she was also being walked backwards into the room. Then she heard the door shut. And before she knew it the back of her knees hit the bed. Then while still being kissed she was forced to sit.

Miranda looked at her. So much emotions played out on both of their faces. One again Miranda was kissing her. Then she pulled back and started to speak.

'_Shepard, I … Marz. Don't speak till I'm done. I have so much to say and I need you to just listen. I,.. No.. we may not get another chance.'_

Miranda started to pace.

' _While things between us have not always been friendly. I respected you as my Commanding Officer. Then somewhere along the line we became friends then fuck buddies. Maybe even lovers. I don't bloody know what we were. I just know that I fell for you. A fucking jarhead. You are so not what I seen myself falling for. But here I am.' _

She stopped pacing and looked at Shepard.

'_I'm a tangled mess of emotions. All of it because of you.'_

Pacing again.

'_I was not great, but I was able to cope with things and do it with a clear head.' _

Looks at Shepard. Then Miranda points at herself and her clothes.

'_This is not me. Or it wasn't till you. I find myself putting on clothes that I normally wouldn't wear because you….you got me to look normal. Now I can't see myself without them. No I'm not blaming you. Well not anymore. I can't blame you because in all honesty I wanted to change and needed to.'_

'_I know that what started out on the Normandy before the Collectors Base was mainly stress relief. I get that. Then the moments in-between and after changed. Then you go and turn yourself in to the Alliance like a good little soldier. _

_That change us also. We had time to cool down and do some thinking or not. Then the Reapers hit, and just like that you were out saving us.'_

She sits down next to Shepard.

'_I know you and Liara talked and I believe you slept with her. Hell maybe I even know you did. It's ok. Because I didn't want to talk after we slept together in the apartment on the Citadel. So I knew that was a possibility that you would end up in her arms.'_

Miranda stands again and starts pacing but keeping her eyes on Shepard.

'_Damn it all to hell. I love you and I need to know where I fit into your life. Just know that whatever the outcome I want to be in you life even if its just a friend.'_

She stops and tears start to fall. Shepard stands and makes her away to her and wraps her arms around her. They stood there for a few minuets then all of a sudden Shepard collapsed to the floor in pain.

Shepard started trembling and sweat started to pour from her forehead. She turned three shades of white. Then screamed and passed out. Miranda use a biotic field and placed Shepard on the bed. Then stepped out of the room and called for Oriana. Something was wrong and she didn't know what it was. She was going to need Oriana help so she could try to get at better look at Shepard. She had to see if she could determine what was causing Shepard to shut down.

Miranda started to unzip Shepard hoodie. As she did so she could feel the heat coming off of Shepard's body.

_Bloody hell she's burning up._

Then that was when Oriana came into the room.

'_What the hell Miranda. I know you was pissed but …..'_

Miranda looked at her with hurt and angry eyes.

'_I DIDN'T DO THIS….Damn it Ori help me.'_

'_Yeah ok. So what you want me to do.'_

Oriana walks over to the other side.

'_I need you to check her pulse.'_

She starts to check for a pulse. And her breathing before Miranda can say to do that also.

'_Heart rate normal. Breathing normal but,.. cold.'_

Keeping her fingers next to Shepard pulse point.

'_How could that be. She's burning up. Go call the hospital and a shuttle. She needs medical support. I … I….'_

Oriana walks back to where Miranda is and places her hand on her shoulder. Tries to do her best to comfort her.

'_Ok,…Miri it'll be ok.'_

Oriana leaves and makes the necessary calls. Making sure that everything is handle in a private matter. The last thing they need is a bunch of reporters making a big mess of things.

While Oriana is making the calls, Miranda sits next to Shepard and holds her hand. They felt cold and clammy. So with normal pulse and breathing it indicated to Miranda that Shepard was in a lot of pain maybe mixed with anxiety. Even if her other body signs were saying otherwise. Miranda was able to take off the hoodie. That way it wouldn't get ruined.

Just as Miranda was about to ask what was taking so long a medical team walked in. One of the asari doctors put Shepard in a biotic bubble to protect her while moving so not to damage her already healing ribs. Also it made it easer to transport her. Miranda was allowed to ride along in the shuttle. The doctors asked about Shepard medical records and about recent injuries. Miranda had all the answers except for what caused this.

The medical team radio ahead on a private channel that Commander Shepard was on route and that they should have Trauma team waiting and make sure the ICU team was briefed as well. All other doctors on should be "on call". The medical team waiting at the hospital also put part of the hospital on alert to be ready for a lockdown.

Hearing all that indicated that things could go from worse to down right ugly and fast. In less then 10min they arrived at the hospital and what looked like a small army of medical staff was waiting for them. In a matter of minutes Shepard was ushered off for care. Leaving Miranda and Oriana in the waiting area.

It was about 20min later when a nurse came over to talk to them.

'_Are you the ones with Shepard?'_

The light blue asari nurse asked. Looking between both Miranda and Oriana.

Oriana was the one to answer. Miranda was still in shock to say anything.

'_Yes we are. I'm Oriana and this is my sister Miranda. Shepard was in our care. How can we help.'_

'_We are doing everything that we can, However her implants are causing some issues. I can't say any more but she is stable at the moment. Also could you point me to Liara T'Soni. I need her to sign some things.'_

'_Liara is not here. She doesn't know what's going on. I could contact her mother.'_

Oriana was waiting for a reply as the nurse was reading something on her datapad.

'_Oh,.. OH I see. How did I not see that. T'Soni is on the Normandy. They also asked for medical…. Oh I'm sorry I shouldn't have. Yes please contact the family. Thank you.'_

The nurse momentarily blurted out private information. As soon as she realized it she tried to cover her tracks. The nurse just left in a rush.

However non of it was lost on Oriana. As soon as the nurse left, she walked Miranda over to a chair and had her sit down. She stayed with her while she made the call to Shepard mother. On a private line she talked to Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard and explained all that was happening. Shepards mother said that she received the news before Oriana called and was already on her way. That she should arrive in the next 30min.

Once done talking with Shepard's mother, Oriana sat down next to Miranda who was just string off into space. She was able to bring her back to reality and focus on what to do.

'_So they asked about Liara.'_

Miranda asked not looking at Oriana.

'_Yeah they did. I guess she is listed as an emergency contact. Then the nurse got all weird and blurted out that the Normandy asked for a medical staff. Must be bad.'_

Oriana looked at Miranda and could see the sadness on her face. She wanted to ask if her and Shepard talked before all this but, decided against it.

'_It doesn't have to be. What about her mother or her father.'_

Miranda looked at Oriana with a confused look.

'_Her mother is already on her way. Her father…I don't know. Don't you have a way to contact him.'_

Now Oriana was the confused one.

'_No, when I was doing the Lazarus project that information was never given. Now that I think about it Marz never talked about the man.'_

Miranda let her head drop and let out a sigh.

'_Well her mother will be here soon so that will be on her I suppose.'_

Oriana was trying to be reassuring.

'_Yeah. Your right. I just need to take my mind off it. I need music.' _

Miranda just didn't have a good list of music and Oriana knew that, so she tried to help.

'_Here I have my omni tool. I got some already loaded but The Bevendenti Station had a good list of music also.'_

Miranda linked her omni tool with Oriana and downloaded the station and then went for a walk down the hall that lead to the restrooms.

Once done in the restroom she pulled up the list of songs and picked one that she liked by a band that was introduced to her by Shepard. She started to walk back to the waiting room. When she got there she sat down and the song started to play. As it played she laughed at how it reminded her of herself now. So she hummed along to it and closed her eyes.

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_I'm so addicted to All the things you do_

_When you're going down on me_

_I__n between the sheets_

(Damn you Shepard)

_All the sounds you make_

_With every breath you take _

_It's unlike anything _

_When you're loving me_

(So damn sexy)

_Oh, girl, let's take it slow_

_So as for you, well, you know where to go_

_I want to take my love_

_And hate you till the end_

(I wish I could)

_It's not like you to turn away_

_From all the bullshit I can't take_

_It's not like me to walk away_

(Why can't we)

_I'm so addicted to_

_All the things you do_

_When you're going down on me_

_In between the sheets _

_All the sounds you make_

_With every breathe you take_

_It's unlike anything_

_When you're loving me _

_Yeah_

_I know when it's getting rough _

_All the times we spend_

_When we try to make_

_This love something better than just making up again_

(Damn that fucking war)

_It's not like you to turn away_

_ All the bullshit I can't take_

_Just when I think I can walk away_

_I'm so addicted to_

_All the things you do_

_When you're going on me_

_In between the sheets_

_All the sounds you make_

_With every breathe you take_

_It's unlike anything_

_I'm so addicted to_

_The things you do_

_When you're going down on me_

_All the sounds you make_

_With every breath you take_

_It's unlike anything_

_When you're loving me_

_When you're loving me_

_How can I make it through_

_All the things you do_

_There's just got to be more to you and me_

(We could be so much more)

_I'm so addicted to_

_All the things you do_

_When you're going down on me_

_In between the sheets_

_All the sounds you make_

_With every breath you take_

_It's unlike anything_

_It's unlike anything_

_I'm so addicted to_

_All the things you do_

_When you're going down on me_

_All the sounds you make_

_With every breath you take_

_It's unlike anything_

_I'm so addicted to you _

_Addicted to you_

_ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx _

Miranda considered the words to the song. And true enough much of it was how she felt while she was with Shepard. Why does this all have to fall apart now.

Was this some kind of way for the cosmoses to tell her that she's out of time with out having Shepard say it. If so then damn it all to bloody hell.

* * *

_**The last song is Addicted by Saving Abel**_

_**So reviews are always welcome. **_

_**I will update as fast as I can. **_

_**Also to blueknight123 I will talk about what happened to Shepards rapist later in the story. **_

_**To the guest known as Tarda. I got a few thing that need to be worked out first. Miranda and Shepard will always be friends if nothing more. **_

_**To phoenixeye2012 thanks for liking and following. If you have a sugestion let me know and I will also try to use it.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5::…

A hospital is no place to be sick._(Samuel Goldwyn)_

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While doctors were running test on Shepard, Miranda and Oriana was waiting on Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard to arrive. They were sitting next to the emergency doors so not to miss her. Each time the door would swish open they would look up.

So when it swished open this time it was a surprise when Jack walked through the doors. She looked concerned. As soon as she seen Miranda she ran over to her. Then hit her square on the jaw.

'_What the fuck cheerleader. You were suppose to take care of her.'_

Jack then looked over to Oriana and gave a nod.

'_I know alright. You aren't telling me nothing I don't already know.'_

Miranda puts her head down in shame.

'_Ah you feel bad… Well shit that makes it all better.'_

Jack then sat down next to Oriana.

'_So where the fuck is the rest of the crew?'_

She looked at Miranda and seen that she was looking towards the door. At that moment Shepards mother walked in.

As soon as Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard walked in Jack stood in attention and saluted.

'_At ease Lieutenant. Today I'm not your commanding officer. Today I'm just a mother, *a sob* I'm just Shepard mother._'

They all looked at her. Miranda walked over and put her hand on her shoulder. Then looked at Jack.

'_Wait when did you become a Lieutenant let alone in the Alliance._'

Jack gave Miranda a "go fuck yourself" look.

'_Well with what I was doing before the war and with my kids during the war someone apparently thought I was Alliance material. So fuck you, and thank you for asking._'

They started to laugh. Jack didn't really change that much. Then Oriana asked again about the Lieutenant ranking once again.

'_Ok but Jack how did you get a Lieutenant rank. That takes years._'

Jack looked at her and shook her head.

'_Look Malibu Barbie, wasn't you listening to what I said. I said I earned it. You know killing shit and that thing with the Collector Base and killing more shit. Oh and don't forget teaching a bunch of snot nose kids how to use there shit to stay alive. Oh and the Reapers and killing shit. You got it now sweet cheeks._'

Oriana just looked at her then at Hannah Shepard and Miranda. Both of them had a slight smile and shook their heads.

'_So now that's out of the way. Like I fucking asked before this lovely shit started where the fucking hell is the rest of the crew._'

About that time the emergency doors swished open and a crowed of people walked in.

One of the nurses noticed the crowed and who they were. As soon as she was able to she ushered them to a private room where conferences were held. This way their presents wouldn't alert to many people to what was going on.

Once that was taken care of she asked one of the asari commando to watch the door and for any more remaining crew members of Commander Shepard to arrive. If they did to lead them to the conference room.

The nurse also made it quite clear that no one other the doctors or nurses and or course crew members were allowed to enter that room.

Before the nurse left she checked in with the waiting crew. Making sure that if they needed anything that the commando was just outside the door. Also informed them of what transpired between her and the commando. She then left to attend to her other duties.

Once she was gone. They all took a moment of silence and looked around the room at each other. It had been so long from the last time they were in the same room together. Some of them didn't make it and some were MIA.

Samara was the first to break the silence.

'_Have we any news to how she is doing?'_

That was when they all looked over to Miranda and Oriana. Both of them just shook their head _NO_.

They all took a seat around the large conference table. Once again quiet.

Samara had lost an arm in the war. It now was replaced with a synthetic biotic arm. It had cybernetic connections and a protean overlay. The skin grafts worked in the same way as when Shepard used the med bay on the Normandy to heal her face.

Grunt had scars on his face that reminded Miranda of Wrex. However his scars were on the opposite side and went from his eye to the back of his head then down his neck.

Kasumi had a eye patch covering her left eye. While taking down a husk just before the beam went off. The husk was able to dig into her eye socket and damage the eye and leaving a scar running down from her eyebrow and across the damaged eye and just to her check. She lost total sight out of that eye. She is waiting for a new implant that will work with her new cloaking device.

Jacob and Zaeed are both MIA. Wrex couldn't make it because there was a problem with the clans. The rest except for the one who died are of course aboard the Normandy on their way to Earth. No one knows if they know of Shepard condition.

'_Shepard would be proud. Battle make us strong. We all have a badge of horner.'_

Grunt said while standing up and looking at the crew. Then sat back down.

It was true. Shepard would be proud. They all did good. Most of them came out alive even if with a few extra scars.

'_I was know as a fierce warrior of my code. However, Shepard managed to condition me to be better. If it wasn't for her, I don't know if I would have been strong enough to make it._'

Samara said with a smile of a proud protective mother.

'_Well shit. If it wasn't for her. I don't know where the fuck I would be. Any fucking way she kicked all our asses into shape. Well the ones who wasn't fucking her anyways._'

Jack wasn't the only one to look over at Miranda. However Hannah Shepard didn't know about that. She knew that her daughter and Miranda was close but this was news. That gave her the opportunity to do what mothers do best.

'_So Miss Lawson. I wasn't aware you were having sex with my daughter. Care to clarify things for me._'

Miranda became panicky and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. All eyes where on her. Ok so now what. She shifted in her chair. Trying to think of something to say. This was so not how she wanted this to go. Considering the fact that she didn't know where her and Shepard stood. It felt really hot in there and like the wall were closing in.

'_I don't know what to say in all honesty._'

Miranda looked at Hannah with apologetic eyes. In hopes she would just leave it at that. Until Jack had to go say something.

'_Well shit Miranda. Was you a top or bottom. Its not that fucking hard. Hell I told her I kissed Shepard. So what the fuck._'

Ah shit Jack thought. Now all eyes where on her.

'_Ok look it was just a kiss. Damn its not like I was the one fucking her or getting fucked by her. Anyway I kissed her after the Collector Base thing, no tong action. Just a quick kiss. Here let me show you,… EDI recorded it. Hell most of you where in the mess hall when it happened._'

Jack opened up her omni tool. That got their attention and took it of Miranda. Well everyone but Hannah Shepard.

While the rest of them watched the kiss unfold. Hannah Shepard walked over to Miranda. Put her hand on her shoulder which startled Miranda no less. Then whispered that she wanted to talk to her privately. So the both of them left the room. Leaving the group to reminisce about their time with Shepard and swap war stories.

Hannah walked out of the hospital and to her personal car. She opened the passenger door for Miranda. Then walked to the driver side and got in. She started the car and pulled away. This caused Miranda start to panic more.

Hannah Shepard picked up on this and looked over to her and gave that famous Shepard smirk. Then pulled into an office building parking lot that was only about 3min away from the hospital. She then turned off the car. Leaving them in complete silence.

'_I thought this would be better. Being away from the crowd. So now you want to tell me about you sleeping with my daughter._'

Hannah was genital in her tone. Her facial expression was calm. Miranda didn't know how to read her. Because Shepard had a way of staying calm and being pissed all at the same time. So this was new for her. So she took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves.

'_I'll admit that me and your daughter had sex. I will say that as of now I don't know where we stand. I don't know what more you want from me._'

Miranda finished and let out a breath. Her head was down.

Hannah looked at her. Then put her hand on her shoulder.

'_Mmh,…Ok. So this was more then once_?'

Miranda looked at her in shock. She couldn't believe she just asked that. Miranda tried to calm her thoughts to organize them.

_How in the bloody hell do you answer that. Ok Miranda you can do this. Yeah right,…this is Shepard mother. Not only that but an Rear Admiral and one in charge of organizing a group to capture Cerberus personal. Most of which are charged with war crimes against humanity and intergalactic peace._

She looked at her and could see that Hannah was giving her time to gather her thoughts and calm her nerves.

'_Yes it was more then once. Then when on the Citadel we talked some but nothing was clarified. No I didn't talk to her after the last time. Things got in the way. Yes I knew about her and Liara after the fact._'

Miranda pause and took a deep breath. Why did this feel like a death sentence.

'_I'm not saying it was right. I also am not going to try to pretend that it was all her fault or mine. I know we need to talk about it. So now you know._'

Miranda wasn't sure that last bit did any good. But she was not going to sit there and be made out to be some whore.

Then what Hannah asked her shocked her even more.

'_Do you love her_?'

Hannah asked with that _don't fuck with my daughter or me _tone.

Miranda tried to swallow the lump in her throat that appeared once again.

'_I don't know. It's not that simple. Marz is so damn complicated._'

She looked over at Hannah. _God she didn't buy that. Damn it all to hell. What is it with the Shepard family. Do they all have that ability to just know_.

Miranda sighed. Then decided to answer her with as much honesty about this as she could.

'_If I was being honest with myself then, Yes I am in love with her_.'

With that Hannah started the car and drove back to the hospital.

As soon as they got back inside the waiting room a nurse came up to them. They had news. They walked back to the private conference room. Once inside the nurse talked to the group.

'_We have been able to stop the internal bleeding. One of her ribs had shifted and splintered. That section punctured an artery close to her lungs. It was something that was small but over time the blood started to flow into her lungs and finally causing her to end up here. The implants however have been causing other problems. So unless we can get the information on them and where they came from. We can't say for sure that she will be able to heal properly.'_

While the nurse talked about the implants a Oriana looked over to Miranda. She knew that Miranda was the only one who could help with what the nurse needed. However the question now became was it possible that the implants designs were destroyed or some kind of Reaper tech. That just opened up a new line of questions that she didn't know if she wanted to ask or know the answer to.

The nurse finished by saying that Shepard for now would be fine. Also that Shepard would be staying in the ICU until cleared to be moved to a private room. Everyone except Shepard mother was allowed to see her now. Once moved and settled the rest of the crew could see her. Only two at a time if she remained stable.

Hannah Shepard followed the nurse to the ICU.

The remaining crew stayed and waited for Hannah to return before they would head out themselves to get some rest. While they talked mainly about Shepard and how she touched their lives.

Miranda on the other hand had went to talk to one of the doctors to see if she could help with the trouble the implants where causing.

* * *

_**I know that this was short. I'm working on a longer chptr. **_

_**As always all reviews are welcome. Also if you have an idea you would like me to write about i will do my best to use it.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6::…

Life's unpredictable predictability._(Me & anyone else)_

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Somewhere a few hours away from Earths orbit aboard the Normandy SR-2. It had been 4mts 2wks the last time the Normandy had been to Earth. Let alone the Sol system.

It was a good month before all the major repairs to the ship was made. Then it took a week for the ship to get to its communication singles in working order.

The crew lead by Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams was divided into teams. Some were scouts while others were handling the little things like cleanup. Once the communication was up it took three days to receive a message that was full of static stating that the Reapers were dead.

Messages like that came in often. Nothing about Shepard was ever heard. There was a message about some of the Geth rebuilding the damaged relays and how to contact them if you was in need of help.

Not much was said about Earth except that it was saved and London was like a ghost town. Sometimes a message about the rebuilding progress of Earth and other planets would make it to them.

Once the final tweaks to the communication singles were made and a better power supply hooked up they sent out a single to the Geth with the proper code produced by EDI that they needed help.

It was a constant looping message with the basic information. Who they were and the condition of the crew and that some medical and food supplies were needed for turian and quarian squad members.

It was about two weeks before the Geth was able to reach the Normandy. The ship had landed on an unknown planet and in a system that only the Geth knew about. Even with that the Geth hadn't explored the system in its entirety. It turned out that the planet was actually considered a moon. This was due to its size and orbit around the much bigger planet.

It was only a matter of weeks after the Geth arrived that the Normandy was ready for space travel. Even so it would take some time to reach Earth and the crew knew this. To get to Earth you had to jump from one working relay into a system that had a relay that was only accepting incoming ships.

So from there you had to travel using only the FTL to get to a relay that was able to accept going and coming ships. Just to hope that when you got to that systems next relay it was able to be used. So in a way it was like playing leapfrog or hopscotch.

So now here they were in the Sol system making their way back to Earth and the uncertainty of who is alive and where they will be able to dock. Of course the major thing that was going through the crews mind was what happened to Shepard.

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They were now two days out from Earths orbit when Liara became ill.

Liara is laying on one of the medical bed. Dr. Chakwas was running another test on her. EDI was with assisting and trying to keep Liara stable. Her heart rate was erratic with dangerous spikes. Her breathing was shallow. Her body was freezing to the touch. Even beyond normal asari levels.

For Liara it felt like her entire body was on fire. All her nerves were tingling. Even her tentacles were itchy but yet they also felt squishy instead of like the flexible cartilage they was made out of.

Dr. Chakwas along with EDI determined that Liara was pregnant and with twins. That was uncommon amongst asari. That also added to the already known dangers of an asari becoming pregnant at Liara age. However what complicated thing more was Liara body was having trouble adjusting to the pregnancy of twins. Her body was fighting itself and couldn't determine what baby was causing the distress.

This in turn was causing Liara body chemicals to change and her biotic to flare to unbelievable levels. With out proper medical attention they could loose both Liara and the babies.

While making their way to Earth orbit a message about Liara condition was sent out over a secure channel. The landing window would put them in London but there wasn't a operational docking bay where they was suppose to dock buy Alliance regulations. So they would have to improvise.

Alliance tech specialist T. Sgt. Nichi Vitelli along with an engineering team was put in charge of locating a suitable area where the Normandy could dock and within the hospitals vicinity. Of course they also needed to have a place that would have little to no interference from a mob of reporters or other people that would interfere with getting Liara to safety.

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About two hours after the team was sent out to find a suitable area for the Normand to dock. One of the scouting parties fond a bombed out parking garage that was stable and had enough land surface to work with. The bonus was it had a heating duck that could be used for a docking bay. Also the hospital was only 100 feet away with the heating duck and hospital rooftop entrance inline with each other.

So they would just have to bridge the two together and reframe the outer part of the heating duck. To put it simply all was needed was to connect the two halves. Then add on to the original front of the heating duck and you have a docking bay. The other good thing was it would be done two hours before the Normandy would be able to be in London to dock.

Of course they would test it first. Thankfully the Black Pearl was available and only slightly bigger then the Normandy but the main specks of its docking doors were the same. So if it could dock safely the Normandy would have no problem.

Once that was done all the Normandy would have to do is dock like normal. The rest would be up to the medical staff.

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So while the docking bay was being built. The medical staff was preparing for Liara arrival. They had called in several of the asari Matriarch and some salarian doctors. It would take about the same amount of time for the medical staff to prepare, as it would the Alliance team to make the docking bay. To no surprise Liara father Matriarch Aethyta arrived and prepared for the worse while she waited.

As the medical staff was busy with supplying a room for Liara a call came in. The only senior staff was aware of who was being transported to the hospital. The lower staff knew that this was going to become a stressful night even more so. Having the arrival of Liara paired with the mystery person had stretched the hospital staff to its limit.

The message went out to all hospital personal that a hospital lockdown could go into effect if trouble arises. Also the ICU staff was notified just minuets before the persons arrival the it was in fact Commander Shepard. The condition of Shepard was also stated. With this news the hospital went in high alert.

So now two very noticeable and important people were going to be under one roof for medical care. This would test the hospital to unimaginable degrees. Oh how the cosmos has a since of humor.

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While Matriarch Aethyta waited she walked around the hospital. Talking to some of the staff an the few soldiers that were there also. Most of the patents were humans and turians with a few being asari commandos.

As she was talking to a asari commando waiting for her bondmate to come out of surgery the commotion coming from the emergency entrance caught her attention for a brief moment.

She turned back to talking with the asari commando when who she was talking with said….

'_Hay is that her?_'

'_Is that who?_' asked Aethyta

'_Miranda Lawson._' said the commando

Aethyta then turned to see who it was. At first she didn't see anyone. Then as the crowd of medical staff left the dark hair of Miranda Lawson appeared.

'_Well that's either her or a hairy mole on a Krogans ass._'

The asari just looks at her questionably. Aethyta just smirks and said…

'_Never mind kid. I got to go. Take care._'

Aethyta then walks in the opposite direction. She is looking for one of the daughter of an old friend who works in the hospital. She had talked to her when she first arrived.

Aethyta was going to find out what was going on. Also knowing that what ever was going on couldn't be good. That is what her Krogan instincts was telling her.

Once Aethyta found who she was looking for the questions came. She was asked to not discuss the situation about Shepard to anyone. They didn't want to cause a panic. As her and the person talked more information about Shepard condition came. Along with the fact that Shepards implants was causing trouble.

Aethyta knew that without the implants working that Shepard may not make it. So when she was able to get a free moment she went looking for Miranda. This was because she knew of her work with the Lazarus project. Not only that but she was Shepard best hope in getting what was needed. Aethyta also had an idea of where to get implants that was better then what was in Shepard. The question then would be if they would work and not cause more damage.

Aethyta had seen some of the Normandy crew being ushered into a private room. Along with one commando guarding the door. Then a nurse went in and came out. Finally after some time Miranda came out followed by who she knew only as Shepard mother. Them two had left together. While they were gone the news of how Shepard was came. Shepard was not good but she was out of surgery and would be moved to a room as soon as she was stable enough.

As soon as the news on Shepard was announced. Aethyta went and talked to the doctor that was in charge of monitoring the implants in Shepard. She told the doctor that she would be waiting in the small coffee lounge area waiting on Miranda Lawson. Aethyta made sure that the doctor know it was of great importance that Miranda come and speak with her.

While Aethyta was speaking with that doctor. Miranda and Shepards mother returned and was ushered away into the private conference room to be updated on Shepards status.

As that was going on Aethyta went into the coffee lounge and waited. While she did so Shepard mother was escorted to where Shepard was.

Now it just became a waiting game so to speak.

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* * *

_**So I know that this was not up as fast as the last chapters. I am sorry for that. **_

_**Also I know that many of you want to know what is going on with Shepard and her inplant. **__**That will be comming soon. **_

_**Also for thoes of you saying you want longer chapters I am working on that. When I write my chapters I use microsoft word. **_

_**And so it has a page count and from that I end up with alot of pages. **_

_**Like this chapter was just under 6 pages on microsoft word but putting it here it looks so small. **_

_**Anyways I just wanted you all to know that I will try to make them longer. **_

_****__**Once again this is not bata. So all mistakes are mine.**_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7::…

Solsbury Hill.(_Peter Gabriel _)

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While everything was going on in and around the surgery room…

Shepard opened her eyes but everything was a haze around her. Things seemed to move slowly. While some sound seemed to softly echo. She remembered that she fell to the floor while giving Miranda a hug. Then the imines pain and everything going black.

She tried to focus on something to get her barring. Then when everything started to come into view she could see doctors standing around. She could hear the sound of beeping and something that sounded like a Volus in the room.

Then everything hit her at once when the face of the person cam into view. It was her they were working on. They were talking about her. That didn't make since to her. She was standing right there or was she. Then she asked herself the obvious question.

Was she dead? Was she just waiting for them to relies that she was dead. None of that made since because if she was dead then the hart monitor would stop making that loud beeping noise. So the question now became what was this.

In that moment was when she was drawn to a quiet sobbing sound. It sounded like a child crying. But from where and why. So she turned her attention to the sound and began to follow it. Then she had that funny feeling that she done this before.

She left the area where she was and found herself in a hallway. The sound was coming from the left. So that where she went. Down the hall and pass three doors. She was just about to turn around. Then the sound got louder and she spotted the child she heard sobbing sitting in a chair.

She walked over to the child and noticed they were alone. She kneeled down and spoke softly to them.

'_Hay there. Where's your parents?_'

The child just looked at Shepard.

'_Are you hurt? Can I help you_?'

Then the child shook a no first then nodded a yes. So Shepard held out her hand and waited for the child to take it. The child took Shepard hand and stood up.

Shepard didn't know what to do now. So she just tried to talk to the child.

'_Do you know where your mother or father is_?_ I could help you look for them._'

The child looked up at Shepard with a smile.

'_I know my mamma is sick. My sister too. They are with the doctor_.'

Ok so now Shepard had an idea of what was going on. So maybe now it would be easy to help the child.

'_Ok. Where is your father?_'

That when the child started to cry. Shepard then picked up the child and tried to comfort the them. Once the crying stopped the child looked ashamed and sadly said..

'_I don't know. Mamma talks about him a lot. They got separated by a war_.'

Shepard was sadden by that news. The war had devastated the land on Earth and many other planets was completely destroyed.

Families were torn apart by some form of death or harvested by the Reapers. Many were torn apart because of the war due to not being able to cope with energies or the physical or mental kind.

'_I'm sorry little one. Do you remember what room your mother and sister is in?_'

The child just looked at Shepard. Then made a face like they were thinking real hard. Then the child shook their head no.

'_That's ok. So can you tell me your name?_'

The child didn't say anything at first. Then smiled at Shepard.

'_I like it when mamma calls me her little Klingon._'

Then at that moment the child said…

'_We both have to go now_.'Then jumped out of Shepards arms and ran off in the direction of the waiting room. Shepard tried to catch up but was drawn back to the surgery room. She then started to feel dizzy and cold. Soon after everything went dark.

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Shepards mother was sitting in a chair next to the bed. She was holding her daughter hand and talking about random stuff. That was when Shepard opened her eyes and spoke only one word.

'_Mother_.'

Hannah smiled at her daughter. She gave Shepard a glass of water. Then she started to cry. Shepard held her mother hand and stroked her thumb over the palm of Hannah hand.

'_Oh My baby. You had us so worried. The doctors said you flatlined twice on them. Are you ok?_'

Shepard nodded yes. Then asked….

'_Liara?_'

Hannah was not surprised to say the least.

'_Most of the crew who could make it are waiting to see you_._ However Liara is still aboard the Normandy. They haven't landed yet._'

Shepard looked sad when she heard the news. She was hoping that Liara would be here. She was in so much pain. Then the realization hit her. She had surgery.

Then she remembered the dream of her and a child. She was starting to get sleepy again. But before she asked her mother to leave they talked just about five minutes. Then she went to sleep and her mother went back to the private conference room and to the awaiting crew.

While Shepard was sleeping the doctors had her moved to a private room.

Grunt and Kasumi was sitting in the room that Shepard was moved to waiting for her to wake up. Grunt was in a sad mood with seeing his battle master being ill. All he ever knew was Shepard was strong and not so soft as most humans. This was new for him. Kasumi however was taking it better then Grunt.

Of course it was sad to see such a strong woman in such a frail state. Shepard had helped her on more then on occasion. She showed her that being a thief was not all there was out there. That she could put her talents to better use. However that was also how she got the scared eye.

Shepard woke shortly after Grunt made a huffing sound.

'_Ah your awake finally_.'

Grunt said in a happy tone.

'_Grunt is that you? And you also Kasumi?_'

In a groggy tone Shepard asked but not really asking .

'_Of course it is Shep. Who else would it be?_'

Kasumi answered in a joking manner.

'_Maybe she was hoping it be the asari._'

Said Grunt with a big laugh.

'_I'm glad to see you both. How are you?_'

Shepard could see that Kasumi had an eye patch and Grunt had some new scars as well.

'_We're good. We can talk about that later. How you feel?_'

Said Kasumi.

'_Yeah you looked as bad as dead Husks_.'

Said Grunt with another laugh. Shepard let out a faint laugh as well.

'_I hurt like hell, but I'm good._'

Shepard said and looked at Grunt when she said it. Her way of letting him know that she would be ok. The three of them talked for a few moments more before it was time for them to leave. They told Shepard that several more people were waiting to see her and then wished her to get better.

The next two that entered was Jack and Oriana.

'_Its about time your dead ass woke the fuck up_.'

'_Don't talk to her like that_.'

'_Or what. Shepard knows how I am. Damn get off my case Malibu Barbie_.'

'_Hay Jack. Hay Oriana. Nice to see you didn't change Jack. So how is military life treating you?_'

Shepard was proud of Jack for sticking with it. Hell she even made a good soldier.

'_Fuck Shepard. This was your life long dream, not mine. But while your out playing house someone's got to kill shit. Or you know it will all go to hell_.'

Shepard just laughed and nodded in approval.

'_So I know your in pain. So how do you feel besides that?_'

Oriana asked in her usual concerned tone that was also soft.

'_I'm good. But where is Miranda and the rest of the crew?_'

Shepard hadn't heard the news about who was killed or missing. So when she asked she didn't know what she would find out.

'_Oh the cheerleader is talking to the doc. The ones who are not MIA or dead are here. Well all her except for the bastards who got stuck on the Normandy. They should be here in about one hour. Give or take_.'

Jack said. Shepard just sighed. She knew that war would bring on many terrible things. Sometimes it's what comes after that really hits home.

Once again they talked till it was time for them to go. Oriana told Shepard that Miranda was trying to get the implants so she may not get to see her today. Jack said that Samara was next to see her anyways. So they left.

Shepard had closed her eyes for a little while. That was when Samara walked in.

'_Hay Samara. How are you? How is Falere?_'

Shepard said with her eyes still closed and a smile gracing her face.

'_I see your keeping up with the meditation. Falere is doing good. She sends you her thanks and hope you get better_.'

Samara gave a small smile. Then sat in the chair next to the bed.

'_Well that's good. You didn't answer my first question_.'

Shepard said and then sat up as much as she could. She turned to look at Samara. Then she noticed that one of Samara arms was slightly of color all the way up to her shoulder.

'_No I did not. I am sorry for that. I have not been myself lately is all. Nothing to worry about_.'

Samara let her head drop slightly as she talked.

'_Samara, you know you can talk to me. If I can help I will. So what's troubling you?_'

Shepard noticed that when it hit her. Samara had lost her arm in the war. That she was coping with this new one.

'_Shepard it is nothing I wish to talk about now. Once you are healed and out of here then we will talk. So I feel something is troubling you however_.'

Samara put her hand on Shepards arm in a comforting manner. She actually gave a smile. Letting Shepard know it would be fine. That they would indeed talk about it.

'_There is. I just don't know about this thing with Miranda. Before ending up here she told me how she felt about us and all. I just don't know. How do you deal with something like that? When the person you are is not the person you was?_'

Shepard didn't push the subject of the arm. So she talked about her messed up life. She knew it would help somehow. It was just how Samara worked at times. In a strange way it helps both of them.

'_Shepard, yourself already know that no matter the outcome someone will get hurt. However it seems that Miranda made a choice when she didn't talk to you when she needed to the most. Now you are on solid ground with Liara. You with a clear head affirmed who you want, but more importantly love_.'

As Samara spoke she recalled the many nights that Shepard stayed up because she was missing Liara. Then was the nights Shepard was up because of Miranda. Many night Samara and Shepard would just talk. It wasn't always about the love triangle Shepard found herself in. However it was always a memorable conversation. Ones that was filled with tears, anger and laughter.

'_Yeah I did. Your right. She had the chance. I know that with the war, things were uncertain. However the moment when we had the time after helping her with Oriana. That was her moment. So why am I so stressed about this_?'

Shepard let her eyes close and let out a breath. Uncertain about what Samara was going to say.

'_I believe it is a normal response to the uncertainty of what will happen when the Normandy gets here and Liara is a true presents in you life again_.'

She rubbed Shepard arm as she spoke. Given her blessing in whatever Shepard would decided.

'_Wow that was deep. How is it you just get me like that?_'

Shepard said with a slight grin.

'_I'm a mother Shepard, and years of experience. Beyond that I am your friend. I believe you know what you have to do. The path is open and only you know the one you will take._'

Samara gave a slight knowing grin. They talked for a while longer and then Samara left.

As soon as Samara was gone a nurse came in to check Shepard and change the settings on the sedatives. Along with many things medical that needed to be changed or checked.

Shortly after that Shepard was asleep once again. It had been a long and trying day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxx

While Shepard was having her visitors. Miranda was talking with one of the doctors about Shepards implants. That was when the doctor told her to go find the person waiting for her in the coffee lounge.

So Miranda did just that. When she got there she recognized Matriarch Aethyta sitting in one of the oversized plush chairs reading something on a datapad. No one else was there. So Miranda walked over to her. She didn't know what to do from there and Aethyta sensed it. So she spoke first in true Aethyta fashion.

'_Does a varren have you by the quad or something? Damn say something_.'

Miranda almost forgot how Aethyta was with the way she spoke. Considering most asari she knows doesn't talk like that. They are so polite.

'_So were you waiting on me?_'

Miranda asked.

'_Yeah that would be the logical conclusion_.'

Aethyta gave a smirk.

'_Ok so how can you help me?_'

Miranda is not sure if Aethyta could help at all. But she was a Matriarch after all. Maybe she had some weight in the government crap they would come across while trying to get the implants.

Aethyta stood up. Coming to her full height and standing close to Miranda. She looked her up and down first. Miranda didn't relies how tall Aethyta was. She was on average a good three inches taller then her.

'_First of it's Shepard I'm helping. Second your gonna help me. That is how this works honey._'

Aethyta was trying to keep calm. Miranda needed to see her as a friend and not the enemy. However it was something she was struggling with because she wasn't use to being polite.

'_First off I'm __NOT__ your honey. Second I'm running things. Are we clear?_'

Miranda was not taking this shit. In no way was she gonna let some blue alien try to pull that. This was her project.

Aethyta could see that she had gotten to Miranda. So now it was time to pull out one of her many weapons. She had a lot of info on Miranda and she was gonna use one of them. That was if she had to.

'_You know you shouldn't talk to me like that. Not with what I know. Also Liara may just flay you alive with her mind_.'

Aethyta said that last part and smiled doing so. It was funny what could she say. Even if she talked to Liara about not using that line of her mothers.

'_Just so you know I'm not afraid of Liara. So you can leave her out of this_. _And what do you know?_'

Oh now Miranda was starting to feel the heat. So many things could ruin her for life. Then there was a small few that could call for her imprisonment. She so didn't want to think about the last part.

'_I know that you love Shepard. But that's not it. I also know that the Lazarus project was based off of the method your father used to create you and your sister. So don't think for one moment I'm gonna let some lab-rat run her mouth. __ARE WE CLEAR__?_'

Aethyta circled Miranda like a mother panther. While she talked. She was able to since that fact Miranda fully aware of what she was implying. That she had more then what she said. So Miranda dropped her head in defeat.

'_How do you…, you know what never mind. So about the implants._'

Miranda just wanted to get on with it. If her indications was right Shepard needed the implants to help her heal. Because the ones from her brainstem was causing the distress. In turn causing her body to go into shock and ultimately shut down.

Aethyta didn't want to start off this way but Miranda pushed her. So now it was back to business.

'_Sit down and we can talk_.'

Aethyta pointed to the chair across from the one she was sitting in at the time Miranda walked in. So they both sat and talked. Aethyta told her what she knew about the implants and where to find more of higher quality. Also what was Miranda role in all of it. She also told Miranda who she had to speak with once she got to her destination.

There was no way for Aethyta to go because the place would know her. It was their best option if Shepard was going to get the best. Once that was all out of the way Miranda was sent off to retrieve the implants.

* * *

_**Solsbury Hill-song by Peter Gabriel**_

_**This song is something that not many know of. However what it is talking about and how I used it for my inspiration are not so diffrent. If you want to know more about the song just google it. **_

_**Anyways I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I'm not fealing good. So I will try to get the next on up this weekend. **_

_**The next chapter will talk about Liara and also the implants and Shepards health. **_

_**Reviews are welcome always. Also this is not beta so all mistakes are mine.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8::…

Dreamlover (_Mariah Carey_)

* * *

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So Miranda was off trying to track down some Turian that was to help her get what she needed. Apparently this Turian had some Geth troops that was able to get her and the Turian to Thessia.

Thankfully several small towns spread over Thessia was not badly damaged. Including the small town Miranda was going to. It was home of an cybernetic company that is housed in a bunker in the mountain.

Along with that she was suppose to deliver a package to an asari who worked at the company for Aethyta and wait for whatever it was the asari was to give her to take back to Aethyta. So this trip once she located the Turian would take only about a day but no longer then two.

Miranda starting point was St Thomas Hospital. It was East of Big Ben. Or what was left of Big Ben. The very same one Shepard was in. Miranda was on her way to Brockley Cemetery to find the Turian. That was south east of her location. As she made her way to a car that Aethyta had there.

She looked around and noticed all that had changed. There was a time that the car garage she was walking to was not apart of the building. Other buildings were no longer there. However for the most part anyone would recognize London and be able to find their way around.

It took her just over 15min to find the cemetery. From there she had to locate the tomb stone shaped like a royal horse. When she found that she would see the entrance to an underground crypt. That is where she would find the Turian and its troops of Geth.

Once she arrived she made her way through the winding path of endless tombs stones. Several tombs stones later and to the southwest of the cemetery was an old historic section. That was where she found what she was looking for.

When she got there she seen an archway that was surrounded by four weeping willow trees and in the middle was the royal horse tomb stone. It was actually the top of the entrance to the crypt. Miranda was glad to finally find the blasted thing. She looked around just to take in her surroundings and also see if she had been followed. Once satisfied she opened the door to the crypt and walked in.

It was dark except for a candle burning in one corner of the entrance. She spotted a marble spiral staircase leading down. That was where she had to go.  
She used her omni tool to help light the way. As she descended down the stairs was when she had the thought of '_Down into the bowels of Hell._' As soon as she reached the bottom she was standing in front of old gat that had gothic carvings on it. It was almost pitch black down there.

Miranda could smell the dampness in the dirt and hear the faint sounds of water dripping. Next to the gate was a torch that she could barely see and hanging off the handle was a single match. So she lit the torch and opened the gate. She could tell that this was a place meant to be use as some kind of shelter or escape path. Maybe during an uprising to try to over through one of the kings of old. This was because it was leading her back to what was once the palace.

She had only walked about 25 yards (75feet) when she was greeted by a Geth Rocket Trooper and behind that one was three regular Geth Troopers. The Geth used an omni tool to scan her. She could see a lit room behind them. Once that was done she was allowed to pass. Miranda fond herself in a large room with several Geth and sitting at a small card table was the Turian she was looking for.

The Turian had on a hooded outfit that hid there features. Miranda walked towards the table and as she got close the Turian stood and held up their hand to stop Miranda. Then the Turian spoke.

'_Miranda Lawson. Ex Cerberus. Head of the Lazarus Project to bring back Commander Shepard. Sister of Oriana Lawson. Daughter of deceased Henry Lawson who was killed by you. I don't believe we met. I am Nerio. Shall we go_?'

Once the light hit the turian body. Miranda was able to see them better. The turian in front of her was female. She had yellow and red markings. The red outlined the yellow. They were like Garrus and Nyreens markings put together. How Garrus has the markings along his eyes and cheek area. Nyreen has them down the middle of her face that formed a shaped like a downwards arrow. Nerio also had bright green eyes.

Miranda was shocked to say the least. Also knowing that this turian knew a great deal about her didn't set easy with Miranda. She knew she would have to watch herself around this one. This was going to be tense to say the least.

'_You are well informed. Don't you want to know about where we are going or anything about this mission_?'

Miranda asked. Trying to gauge the situation that has now presented itself.

'_As far as me being well informed. I have to know things in order to do what I do. As far as this mission. I know all I need to know as of now. If I find I need to know more. I will ask. So I ask again. Shall we go_?'

Nerio said and started to walk away.

'_Yes of course. Lead the way_.'

Miranda followed. Behind her was the Geth troops. The rocket trooper Geth was in front of Nerio. They walked to the location of two Geth Dropships. Shortly after that Miranda and Nerio boarded one ship and the remaining Geth boarded the other. Then in a matter of minutes they were off and heading to the mass relay.

* * *

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While that was going on. A message was sent out to the Normandy. It was informing them of the location where they would have to dock. That it was ready for them the minute they would be over London. They also informed the Normandy that a medical team would be waiting for them.

The Normandy sent word back to earth that they would be over London in two hours.

While the communication was going on between Earth and the Normandy. Liara had a pain shoot through her. It started at her right thigh and went all the way up to her back and stopped just under her left side of her jaw.

EDI was monitoring her as this happened. She noticed the spike in Liara heart rate at the time. Along with several muscle spasms in Liara lower abdomen region. Something was causing Liara or the babies great distress. Dr. Chakwas had started Liara on a muscle relaxant in hopes to ease the pain.  
Along with something that would help with the fever. None of them would harm the babies and were made for asari biology. As the meds started to take effect. Dr. Chakwas had a scan going to determine the location of the babies. To try to determine if in fact it was the babies or something else that was causing the new set of problems.

She was also thankful that they would be landing soon. She didn't know how much more she could do before she would have to make the call to abort the babies in order to save Liara life. However doing that could be also life threaten for Liara as well.

Not to mention that she had never preformed an abortion on a asari this young before. Then top that of with the fact this was Liara made it emotional for her. She was doing everything she could to keep herself disconnected emotionally from the two.

She was a doctor and so she had to focus like on. But non the less it wasn't easy and she knew it wouldn't be because this crew was more then her crew. They were more like her children even more so then the crew she served with before when she was slightly younger.

Slowly Liara body started to relax. She then drifted off to sleep. Something her body desperately needed.

_-_-_-Liara Dream (1) -_-__

_Now here she was on Therum at a Prothean dig site. She was trapped and she couldn't remember who if any knew where she was going. _

_Surrounded by Geth and somewhere a Krogan battle master. She activating the Prothean barrier curtain that she knew would keep her safe. She somehow activated something else that trapped her inside._

_She was starting to feel exhausted form being in the barrier so long. Her mind went to a time when she was just a little girl. _

_Her mother used to read to her about the human fairy tales. Mainly about knights and the battles they fought. Even some would rescue the ones in need. _

_However the knights seemed to rescue a princess. It was funny to her because she remembers a silly human saying her mother would say when she read to her. 'A knight in shinning armor' and that would make Liara giggle. _

_It was because many of the stories that had a knight rescuing someone ended up in dirty dull armor. Because by the time they got to the person in need. The knight had to fight there way through just about everything imaginable. _

_That was what lead Liara to think ' Oh how I wish my knight in shinny armor would rescue me'. It was silly she knew but just this once she wanted to be the one who actually got the knight in shinny armor. _

_That was when she heard a noise. Maybe she was already loosing her mind because when she looked up there was someone walking towards her wearing shinny armor. _

_She could tell right away whoever it was coming to her rescue was human. That was when she had another silly thought. 'By the Goddess. I got my knight in shinny armor.' that was followed by 'Goddess Mother was right.' _

_That last thought was what startled Liara. Once she got older her and her mother drifted apart and became less then friends. _

_So that last part would of never slipped from her lips or her mind. Now she found herself with her mothers voice in her head saying another human thing. 'Never say never.' _

_Then she was pulled out from her thought by the voice of her rescuer. _

'_Are you alright? What happened to you?'_

_That was when it dawned on her. Her 'knight in shinny armor' was not just human but also female. That never happened in the stories her mother would read to her. She knew that the knight didn't always get the girl but they were always male. She was slightly confused and also intrigued all at the same time. _

_Then she remembered she had to talk to this human. _

_So Liara tried her best to explain what it was she was trapped in. How it had to be deactivated and so on. She was always bad at talking to people in general but humans made her nervous. _

_After a short time but what felt like a lifetime she was free. Then out of nowhere the Krogan appeared. _

_Then just like that her rescuer fought the Krogan battle master in order to escape with all of them safely. Then just like that her 'knight in shinny armor' was now her knight in dirty dull armor. So like a true human fairy tale endings, she also was rescued by someone in dirty dull beat up armor. _

_-_-_-End Dream (1)-_-_-_

While Liara sleep and dreamed Dr. Chakwas monitored her vital signs. For the moment Liara seemed to be at peace.

_-_-_-Liara Dream (2)-_-__

_This was it. They were on there way to Ilos. Liara found herself in Shepard's cabin aboard the Normandy SR-1. She was nervous to say the least. _

_Shepard and her had talked about many things before this mission. One of which was her melding with others. She had never done so before. _

_Now here she was about to in her own way ask Shepard to do that. Her mind was racing through so many things. Many of them included how this may all play out. Rejection amongst them was one she was prepared for, as funny as that sounds._

_This was so new to her, but she knew she was sure. _

_More so then ever before._

_The door opens and she sees Shepard sitting in front of a monitor in the dimly lit room. Shepard then stands and turns to face Liara. In that fraction of a moment Liara almost lost her nerve._

'_Shepard may I speak with you?'_

_Liara says. Not sure if her voice sounded nervous just to her. Or did Shepard also notice the nerviness in her voice._

'_I was just thinking about you.'_

_The way Shepard says that. It makes Liara stomach flutter. She defiantly was nervous now. If she wasn't before. _

'_I have been thinking about you too, and what we are about to face. I do not know what will happen on Ilos. I hope we will stop Saren of course. But part of me fears we are already to late. There is something I must tell you incase we fail.'_

_Oh how she hopes that didn't come out wrong. What if it did? Oh Please don't let it be so. How can Shepard just stand there so calmly? Why can't I have that calmness about me?_

'_We're not going to fail, I promise.'_

_Shepard says that with such calmness and confidence._

_Ok, see Liara she's not that calm. She has been thinking that's what I want. To be told everything is going to be ok. Ok Liara you can do this just say it._

'_Please, I'm not looking for comfort. Saren may already have the conduit. It is time to be completely honest with each other. These could be our last moments together. Our last chance to show each other how we feel. I want this to be special.'_

_Oh great that came off as cold. Maybe Shepard knows it wasn't to come out sounding cold. Just talking to people is not my strong suit. _

'_We don't have to do this. Not unless your sure.'_

_Once again she does that thing to try to reinsure me. Giving me a way 'out' she would say. Or trying to give herself a way 'out'. _

_I have to make myself more clear. Be bold. Ok I can do this. Here it goes._

'_I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you join with me Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite.'_

_Ok so that wasn't so bad. Now the rejection part form her. After that I walk away and go back to my lab and have a small cry. Then if we live past this just be normal around one another. Because it may hurt but us asari are suppose to enjoy the time we have with the ones we love._

'_Just tell me what to do.'_

_Shepard said with conviction and confidence._

_Wait what was that. Did she just say ok. Ok she did. _

_Oh by the Goddess. Ok I can do this. This is what I want. She does also. _

_I pull her into me and kiss her with fierce passion. _

_Trying to give everything I am in that kiss. She does the same, but hers also conveys the lust she has for me. _

_I wouldn't call it love just yet because we are not at that stage yet. This is unbridle lust. As rude as that may be._

_We do away with the barrier that is our clothes. Then I walk towards her. Allowing her to look at all of me. I watch her. Her eyes roam up and down my body as I make my way to her._

_When I'm so close to her I can smell her. I wrap my arms around her. Then place a soft kiss on her cheek before pulling away. Our eyes lock onto each other like we are staring into ones soul._

_Then my eyes go black as I start the meld._

_We become connected and everything becomes heightened. _

_I focus on her. Kissing her softly down her body then back up. _

_Are lips come together once again in a kiss. She grazes my bottom lip with her tong asking for entrance. I grant it. Our tongs dance with one another. Both giving and taking equally._

_We make it to the bed. How we got there I don't know. She lays down on her back and waits for me. I slowly crawl up her body. _

_She watches every curve and how my body moves. Once I get there I lay gently on top of her. She then rolls us over. She takes me in her arms and kisses me._

_She moves her hands over my body. Stroking my breast and teasing me. Her kisses move from my lips to my neck. While one hand moves down the outside of one of my legs. _

_Then makes it way back up the inside just ghosting over my clit. _

_Kissing her way down to suck on my already hard nipple. Her other hand cups my unattended breast and plays with that nipple._

_My body reacts to hers. My hands roam over her body. Finding their way to her round ass. Its so soft but firm. I squeeze it and she moans. Her body bucks into mine. Then I run my fingernails back up her back. Oh the sound she makes when I do that._

_She turns her attention to the my breast her hand was cupping and teasing. She starts to kiss and suck on that one. The opposite act occurs with her free hand. One cupping and teasing my breast while the other roams up and down my sides and leg. Still on the way back up her hand touch ghost over my clit once more._

_Then she makes her way down my stomach. Licking and kissing as she goes. I moan as she get closer to where I so desperately need her now. My body arches into her. She slowly slides down my legs. Gently she kisses each thigh. Opening my legs and looks up at me. I put my hand in her hair. Giving her a reassuring smile. _

_Then she kisses me just above my clit. Oh the softness of her lips. I place one leg over her shoulder. The other she holds to anchor me as my body arches up once again. Trying to get her to stop teasing me. She then dips her head and runs her tong along my clit. _

_One of my hands grab the sheet. While the other grabs her hand that is on my leg. I moan and buck my hips. She sucks on my clit and then licks my up and down. Oh the way she moves her tong. I could never get enough of that._

_She then slowly dips her tong inside of me. Tasting more of me and she makes a noise that sounds like a purr. _

_As she uses her tong to fuck me. She lets go of my hand and moves it to my clit. Then she uses her thumb to rub circles over it. Licking and fucking me with her tong all at the same time._

_I can feel the buildup and soon my hips buck and I grab her hair. Pushing her head as close as I can get her. She knows I need more. So she inserts a finger to fuck me with also. Her mouth remains busy with my clit and licking my folds. As she feels me clinch around her hand she moves her mouth over my entrance. She wants to taste me as I cum._

_I moan and say her name as I cum. The orgasm washes over me and my stomach starts to spasms. Once I start to calm down she removes her finger from me. Then starts to make her way back up my body. Kissing me softly over my body as she does. Once we are face to face I reach for her and pull her face close to mine and kiss her. Tasting myself on her lips. _

_-_-_-End Dream (2)-_-_-_

Liara wakes panting and sweaty. Dr. Chakwas becomes alarmed. Liara notices this and tells her it was just a dream. Oh but what a dream.  
She is so tired. Her body aches but it not all from being ill. Her body desperately needs Shepard. However no word has came in about Shepard.  
She doesn't even know if Shepard is alive or dead. So her body aches for her love even in the mist of her illness.

Her vital signs are showing she is fine. However she can't get back to sleep and Dr. Chakwas can't give her anything now. It could cause problems if she did.  
So Liara ask for her music. It was the one thing while Shepard was working with Cerberus that helped her fall asleep so many lonely night.

As she puts on the headphones and the music starts to play. A smile graces her lips. A song that Shepard likes starts to play.  
It is not something most would want to listen to but this sooths her. As it plays she starts to sing softly. Her fingers tap to the music.

* * *

_All Right!_

_Break me down,  
__You got a lovely face  
__We're gonna to your place  
__And now you got to freak me out_

_Scream so loud,  
__Getting fucking laid  
__You want me to stay,  
but __I got to make my way_

This causes Dr. Chakwas to look at her and shake her head in disbelief. The doctor walks over to her desk and starts on the report.  
They will be landing soon. This will help the doctors who will take over once they land.

Liara continues to sing.

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night  
__Scratches all down my back  
__to keep me right on_

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night  
__Scratches all down my back  
__to keep me right on_

_(Goddess she missed Shepard)_

_Take it off, the paper is your game  
__you jump in bed with fame  
__Another one night paid in full, uh_

_Your so fine it won't be a loss  
__Cashing in the rocks,  
__Just to get you face to face_

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night  
__Scratches all down my back  
__to keep me right on_

_(This is so a Shepard song)_

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night  
__Scratches all down my back  
__to keep me right on_

_Get the video _

_Fuck you so good_

_Get the video_

_Fuck you so good_

_(Oh the many vids her & Shepard would watch)_

_Crazy Bitch_

_Crazy Bitch_

_Crazy….Bitch_

_(Shepard could so be a crazy bitch)_

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm fucking you all night  
__Scratches all down my back  
__to keep me right on_

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night  
__Scratches all down my back,  
__Come On!_

_Baby girl  
__You want it all  
__To be a star  
__You'll have to go down_

_Take it off,  
__no need to talk  
__You're crazy  
__But I like the way you fuck me_

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night  
__Scratches all down my back  
__to keep me right on_

_(Oh how she loves it when Shepard just fucks her)_

_Hey,_

_You're crazy bitch  
__But you fuck so good,  
__I'm on top of it_

_When I dream, I'm doing you all night  
__Scratches all down my back  
__to keep me right on  
__You keep me right on_

_You're crazy  
__But I like the way you fuck me!_

As soon as the music stopped Liara shut her eyes and went to sleep. She slept peacefully for the remainder of the trip to Earth.

* * *

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While all that was going on.

The Geth ships were approaching the mass relay. They would be in sight of it in only two hours. After passing through the relay they would be able to use FTL to get to Thessia.

So while they were making their way to the relay. Miranda walked around the ship. She noticed that the ship had been refitted to suit Nerio needs. It had a basic turian design with settle human touches. That was what surprised Miranda. It wasn't the fact that it human but the fact they were there in the first place. It even had human food aboard. Along with a small section of different species food needs. However the human selection was amongst the most stocked outside of the turian section.

Nerio walked up behind Miranda while she was looking at the selection of food.

'_Is there something wrong Miss Lawson?_'

Nerio asked in a soft tone. She even sounded tired as she spoke.

Miranda jumped slightly. How could she not here her walking up behind her.

'_No, I'm fine. I was just looking is all._'

Miranda knew it was not completely true. She was not fine. She was startled at first when Nerio walked up behind her.

'_Did I startle you?_'

Nerio knew she did but asked anyways. The question is would Miranda lie about it.

'_No… well yes. I just didn't hear you behind me is all._'

As Miranda went to answer she was going to leave it at no but seen that Nerio didn't buy it.

'_Well that's a good thing. If you did, then I wouldn't be good at my job._'

Nerio didn't want to say to much but also say enough. So that's why she worded it that way.

'_Oh, I just… You know I've noticed the human touches this ship has. May I ask why that is._'

Miranda wasn't sure to the extent of that statement was alluding to. She just left it as is. Then went right to the human subtleness of the ship.

'_Are you bothered by it?_'

Nerio asked but didn't really care one way or the other if Miranda was bothered by it.

'_No not at all. It's just human turian relations have not always been the best._'

Nerio walked around Miranda and made herself and Miranda a cup of coffee. Then walked over to the small table and sat down while gesturing to Miranda to do the same.

'_Here have a seat. I will try to sate you curiosity. Or cause more._'

She gave her the coffee.

'_Oh thank you. So about the ship. You do have fine taste in detail._'

While taking a sip, and it was good coffee with the slight taste of chocolate.

'_Your welcome. As for the ship. Well besides the fact that it is a Geth ship decked out to my standards. Carries a small supply of different species needs. Human and turian being the most._'

This was a delicate subject and something Nerio didn't talk about to often due to being judge.

'_You avoided my original inquiry._'

Miranda felt like Nerio was hiding something or just not wanting to talk. In turn it caused Miranda to not feel comfortable at the moment. But it was just a question. Not like she was wanting to know the team who put it together or some big military secret information.

'_Ah I did. So what has your curiosity so intrigued Miss Lawson?_'

Nerio had a moment of fear. She felt like an interrogation was happing. But that was only because of the questions and being shunned by most of her family.

Miranda noticed that there was mainly two mixes of femininity playing out. So that was intriguing to her. It was something that hinted at something deeper more personal. She didn't want to be sound rude or intrusive in asking. However she just had to know.

'_Just the fact that it so settle and feminine in taste. However it has a subtle mix of two very different taste of quality._'

Nerio finished her coffee and stood up to place the cup in the sink. Her head dropped slightly as she turned away from Miranda. Several emotions went through her in that moment. Then she walked over to the door to the captains cabin next to the mess hall. She was preparing herself to answer the question. Then take a swift exit.

'_The color scheme that your eyes glance over represents the beauty that was my mate. The other like the cup you are holding reminds me of my mother._'

Just as she was saying the last part of her sentence she took of her hood and reviled red hair. With the end of her statement she entered her cabin.

It was so quick that Miranda didn't have time to stop her from leaving. Then all at once the scientist in her kicked in.

Many years people have asked what a turian human child would look like if at all possible. Now her she was aboard a ship that gave answer to the question. If only a slight glimpse into the mystery.

From looking at Nerio she would never of know. Her face is so turian like. Right down to the mandibles even if smaller then most female turian mandibles. However you can't judge by that. They have different markings and heights as well. Just like humans. Nerio has the body shape of turian that when covered like she is you couldn't tell anything about her was human.

Then Miranda thought about why she was staring at Nerio hands when she was handed the cup. It didn't registered at first but Nerio has five digits just like a human with the acceptation that the ring and pinky finger are webbed together. Kind of like a drells middle and ring finger.

Miranda sat there for a while sipping her coffee. Different things running through her mind. She now had to know more. But knew that was wrong. That she should want to know more about Nerio as a person and not some kind of science experiment. Because she already knows what that feels like.

So after finishing her coffee she gathered her courage and went to Nerio cabin. She just wanted to talk. However she was starting to get sleepy. She had already had a long day. So now she just wanted to know where she would be able to sleep while on this ship.

While she left Miranda out at the table in the mess hall. Nerio changed into something more comfortable. She would not be able to sleep until they got closer to Thessia.

Nerio changed into a basic black tank top and turian like sweats. She didn't put on shoes because she liked to let her feet breath. Her feet was like her hands more human then turian. With the acceptation that her toes was more human like. Her mother said her body features of her feet and hands resembled a lion. With the acceptation of the way her ring and pinky fingers was webbed together.

As a child Nerio was ashamed of herself. Then over time she came to accept and finally love herself. She knows it had a lot to do with her mother reassuring her. But the biggest part came from her father. The way he stood up to his family for her. Even after her mother died. He always told her he wouldn't change anything about her. She was perfect just the way she was. That if his family couldn't accept that then that was their problem.

Once dressed she looked at herself in the mirror. Like she has many times before. She took a deep breath and released it while she rocked back on her heals and wiggled her toes. She knew when reveling herself to Miranda it would cause questions and it would be a matter of time before Miranda asked them very same questions that so many have asked. Nerio wasn't afraid anymore to be asked or to answer. It was just old. She felt like broken record. Jokingly that's what she thought of. She needed to record the answers and just hand them out. It would save her time.

She was just about ready to leave and head to the bridge when the knock to her door came. _Hell that was quick. Time to get the questions over with._ And as expected it was Miranda at the door when she opened it. However it was what that came next that she wasn't expecting.

'_I just came to ask about the sleeping arrangements._'

Miranda asked not wanting to seem needy.

'_You can sleep here._'

Nerio said while stepping to the side to allow Miranda to look over the cabin and step inside.

'_Oh I couldn't do that. This is your bed._'

Miranda felt like she was defiantly needy along with putting Nerio out.

'_No need. The bunks are so uncomfortable. Or at least that's what I've heard. Also they are in not accessible at the moment._'

Nerio had to reinsure Miranda. So she lied sort of. The cots were not usable because they were being used as tables and she didn't want to mess with them if she could help it.

'_Oh, ok. Thank you._'

Miranda said. Looking over the room. It was small but welcoming and homey also. Good it worked thought Nerio as she made her way out the door.

'_No problem. Oh and there is a change of clothes for you on the bed. And feel free to use the shower if you like. I'll be on the bridge if you need anything._'

Before Miranda could say anything Nerio quietly left.

* * *

**_Ok so more to come. _**

**_And for you end of the worlders out there. Well the day has came and gone. We are alive._**

**_Reviews are welcome. Not beta so all mistakes are mine. _**

**_The song Liara sings is ..._**

**_Crazy Bitch-By Buckcherry_**

**_Dreamlover-By Mariah Carey (I chose it as a title to this chapter after writing it)_**

**_The reason I choose Liara to sing that song was it shows a diffrent side to her. Also it would be its more of a Shepard then Liara. I thought about how the song talks about jumping in bed with fame. How somany people do sleep with famous people for the reason of getting attention and whatnot. So with Shepard being famous in her own right this song just fit or at least to me it does. _**

**_Thanks to all the ones who read and review._**

**_Also as far as my discription of my Turian Female Nerio there is a great artist who did a wounderful consept for a human turian hybred on deviantArt the artis is BlackBy and her turian/human hybred is of a female turian and the art is called Preya the turian-human child._**

**_No i didn't coppy the idea. A friend told me about it after they read my one story about the adventures of Nerio i wrote a year ago. they seen it first some time in november 2012. _**

**_so go check it out. It blew my mind how similer it was to my charater Nerio. _**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9::…

Fools rush in.

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Nerio was on the bridge and watching the mass relay come in view. The Geth pilot she named Ace was at the helm. She was standing to the left of him.  
This was going to be tricky once they activated the relay.

It was not as powerful as it once was. So getting two ships through at the same time would be almost imposable.  
However she has faith in Ace and the pilot of the other ship that she calls Doolittle.

As they powered up she sighed just a bit. The energy coming form the mass relays was no longer the blue everyone was so use to seeing.  
It now was more of a purple with a dark blue on the outer edges of the mass relay field.

It was like that with all the relays that worked. This one however was still being tweaked so its power output was not as strong as the ones that take you to the Vail.

The reason this relay needs more work is because it was almost completely destroyed. Then there is the fact that ships like the Destiny Ascension use it more frequently and some minor reasons she wasn't getting into.

The two ships got as close as the could to each other. Then they powered up full blast to the point each generated enough energy to form one single energy field envelope. Then they powered up again causing them to fall in sink with each other. Giving the false impression that it was one ship, so the mass relay read it as such.

This cause the relay to activate a power scale that it normally would if a massive dreadnought ship was activating it. Then in a matter of a few moments both ships were moving through the relay and the energy envelope opened up and allowed for them to enter into Athena Nebula with only little drift.

Once they were through the two ships had to reverse the process. Then before the ships could use FTL the core processors had to cool. So it would be an hour before they would be ready to travel again.

While all that had happened. Miranda had taken a shower, changed and asleep by the time the relay shot them to the other side. She didn't feel anything as the ships powered up or the jump.

Nerio went to the mess hall to get a snack while the ships were powering down from the extreme power output. For at least the next hour she had to be awake just in case. You never knew what could happen, or who would be in radio contact wanting to know why geth ships are that close to a relay. So many forget that the geth fought the war and was mainly in charge of fixing the relays themselves.

So this was her life whenever they traveled to another system. It has been getting better. Before all this mess with the war. She would have to go through so much red tape to travel it was like watching molasses run.

She was as far as she knew the only non geth captain of a geth fleet. She had more then the two ships that traveled with her at her disposal. However they were now on relay duty with several other geth.

Nerio was sitting at the table where not so long ago she and Miranda was at. She was eating oatmeal squares cereal. Strangely it was her dad's favorite. Her mother wouldn't approve because of the sugar and whatever else she found wrong with it.

She remembers her mother saying something about _'If your gonna east oatmeal then eat oatmeal. Not whatever this crap is. This will rot your teeth'_. It's funny how small thing that would bother you at the time is something you miss.

While she was eating and remembering her childhood. A call came in from Vista. Vista was a Geth dreadnought ship that was patrolling this section of the system. Nothing was really know about the crew. So many believed it was a Geth controlled ship.

Truth was it was a geth ship but the crew was mixed with organic and geth. This was the biggest ship that Nerio had under her control. The geth pilot was one she called Petty. After one of her mothers favorite singers Tom Petty.

Petty was a geth that she grew up with. So out of all the ones who had a name he was the oldest. However Ace was second in line as being around her for a long time. Petty was her mothers geth mainly. So he was loyal to the family.

Ace was her personal geth. Her dad came across him when she was only 13yrs. Ever sense then the two have been together. She trust him with her life. She knew how odd that sounded. Trusting a geth with you life. But that was the misconceptions and predigest of the geth people came to know.

So the dreadnought ship went on its way once Nerio talked to Petty and updated him on her mission. She asked Petty to stay close Thessia when she landed just in case of trouble. Petty assured her that was not a problem.

That conversation and detail transfer took the best part of the hour the ship needed to cool down from the relay jump earlier.

Now they were preparing to start the journey to Thessia. Nerio joined Ace back on the bridge for one last briefing. Before she would call it a night or day. Depending on how you looked at it. It was in the early hours of this systems morning.

While talking with Ace she got comfy in the copilot set to his left. It was where she would normally sit when she was there. It also was where she would nap when not busy with other task and to tired to got to her cabin.

Actually Ace new better. He knew she sleep there because she didn't like to be alone. Also the cabin had some fresh memories of bitter times with her mate that was no longer around. War took its toile on the couple and in the end Nerio mate left and left Nerio heartbroken. Something that she may never get over if she didn't cope with it.

So after about five minutes of talking and planning the course to Thessia Nerio was soon asleep. It would take just over seven hours before they reached Thessia. Just long enough for Nerio to get the rest her body needed to be able to properly function.

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While Miranda was making her way through the relay with Nerio. The Normandy was making its final landing and docking preparations. In minutes it would be in Earth atmosphere and just over London.

While the Normandy descended and aliened itself to dock at the docking bay. Dr. Chakwas made preparations to transport Liara as fast as possible off the Normandy. She had to give Liara a set of sedatives and moved Liara to the airlock doors with the help of EDI.

As soon as Liara was moved from the med bay to the airlock doors. The Normandy had descended and was in the final stage of docking. The medical staff at the hospital was watching and waiting. Along with some Alliance soldiers who was put in charge of guarding the Normandy as soon as it docked.

Within five minuets the Normandy was docked. As soon as the airlocks opened and the docking doors unlocked the medical staff was first ones there and they immediately took Liara away. Dr. Chakwas followed behind them.

EDI had already radioed ahead and notified the hospital that the medical staff was in rout with Liara. Joker had radioed the Alliance and debrief them on the situation. As the medical staff made it way down to the hospital the Alliance soldiers made there way to the Normandy.

Everybody aboard the Normandy was told to wait until given orders to leave. The crew was to wait for Rear Admiral Shepard to do a walk through of the ship and a quick debriefing before the crew was able to leave.

When the news came that the one in charge of allowing the crew to leave would be Rear Admiral Shepard. Joker told the crew that should take about an hour before she got here. Also the crew should have all reports done and ready for her as soon as she was in rout.

Joker had dealt with Rear Admiral Shepard before. She was not like her daughter at all. Most people who meet Commander Shepard says she's a hard ass. Well the mother make dealing with Commander Shepard a walk in the park to say the least. As soon as Joker was off the main com. the crew went to work. It was one of the few times before the retrofits that everyone aboard was busy.

Joker was finishing up a report when the airlock doors hissed open. He glanced at the time. It had been an hour. Rear Admiral Shepard was there. A regular Alliance soldier announced her arrival before she boarded the ship. Everyone was nervous to say the least.

As soon as she boarded she went strait to where Diana Allers was.

'_Diana Allers. Get off this ship. A guard will show you out. You are to also leave all belongings on the ship except a change of clothes. Is that clear._'

Rear Admiral Shepard said in a less then her normal threaten tone. She didn't like reporters even more so then her daughter. However this one did do somewhat a decent job at getting people aware of what went on. Allowing for better war preparations in some places that otherwise would have been lost.

'_You can't do this to me. My contract was with the commanding officer and owner of this ship. That officer is Commander Shepard._'

Diana Allers didn't know who this was but she wasn't going to be some push over. That was until said person spoke again.

'_I can do and I will. The fact that this ship was signed over to Commander Shepard as her personal ship is irrelevant. This ship is now under my command. So get off __my__ ship._'

Rear Admiral Shepard was on the brink of loosing her cool. She couldn't help but wonder _'Why do reporters always have to be so damn stubborn'_

Now that was taken care of. Rear Admiral Shepard proceeded with the proper proto call to allow the crew off the ship. She stationed a handful of guards on the ship while the crew left. Joker was given instructions to take the Normandy to a secret location for dry dock.

Once there he and EDI was to report to the command post and then was free to leave. EDI was now officially considered a crew member.

Unlike her normal hard ass self. Rear Admiral Shepard quickly debriefed the crew and left. She had to get back to her daughter. She didn't see a point in keeping the crew waiting. The fact of the matter was they suffered already. They also wanted to know how her daughter was. Aparnetly they never received news if Shepard was alive or dead.

So Rear Admiral Shepard told them that Shepard was alive and now in the hospital, but was doing fine. The joyous cheers were heard outside of the ship by the guards that were stationed there.

The crew was told that they could see Shepard the next day provided she was up to it. Also they were put in contact with someone who would provide a place for them to stay until they were able to go to there own home or whatever the case may be. They would be in contact with several people who could provide help and other things if needbe.

That was all a great help for the crew. Many didn't know what to do now. But knowing that help was available was a great confort. So the crew got incontact with the person who was providing shelter and food and waited to see Shepard when they could.

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So while everything with the crew was being handled.

Liara had been wished away and ushered into a medical room. The waiting Matriarch had prepared for her arrival. Her father Matriarch Aethyta was a nervous wreck. However this wasn't the time to fall apart. One of the doctors went over the medical chart provided by Dr. Chakwas. Everything was done propertly to the best of what could be done given the circumstances.

Liara was transferred to a bed and different I.V's were hooked up to her. Along with her fluctionation heart rate. Her biotic was out of sync.

So this was why the Matriarchs were called in. Her father was there not only for support and to help but there was a chance that Aethyta would have to use a bonding meld to enter Liaras mind.

It was always best if that was done by the bondmate if the bondmate was asari. If not then the mother would due. However in this case Liara father was there. Sometimes that task would fall to the sister. And in extreme cases the non asari bondmate could do it only added by another asari. That last example it not only difficult but extremely dangerous.

It took almost three hours for the Matriarchs to stablelise Liaras biotics and another two hours for the right medical medicians to kick in and stablise her enough to be moved to a climite controlled enverimont. This was in hopes to keep her stable and he fever down.

The truth of the matter was it was all in attempt to buy time for Miranda to returne. In hopes that it wasn't to late. To save the lives of three people. In hopes that they wouldn't have to abort the babies in order to save Liara.

Aethyta was sitting in the room that Liara was moved to. She was watching her daughter sleep. All kinds of things was going through her mind. One of wich was about the Ardat Yakshi syndrom and if Liara was a carrier of it.

It wasn't something widely talked about outside of the asari race. Even so was the fact that many asari didn't know about it. So many have been outcasted because of being purebloods. Many like Liara are not widly known outside of close family due to the tant that comes with being known as a pureblood.

Liara was young by asari standers to be becoming a mother. The carriers of the Ardat Yakshi syndrom don't always carrie it themselves but can pass it on to there children. The chances of that was higher when a mother is caring multipal babies.

So for now all that could be done is to wait.

While Aethyta waited Liara began to talk in her sleep. It started out muttered at first then the words became clear. She couldn't tell if they were something Liara was dreaming about or if it was things that realy happened.

A few moments went by when Aethyta became aware that some of what Liara was dreaming about was not something she should hear. Or maybe she should. It was the ending of a dream that Liara was having.

_-_-_-Liara's Dream(1)-_-_

_It's a week before Shepard would work for Cerberus. _

_Liara was on a ship. Getting ready to leave Omega. Not knowing if Miranda and her team would be able to bring back Shepard. Or if they did would Shepard be…Shepard._

_Liara was about to find out how dangerous and downright evil the galaxy could be._

_The captain of the ship was someone you didn't want to be around. He killed because he loved it. He also took what he wanted. This was nothing new to the crew that worked for him. _

_Liara was about to find out how true that was._

_It had been days and the ship was only an hour away from docking on Illium. Everything was normal. The crew was making its final preparations._

_That was when the captian came into the crews washroom where Liara was taking a shower._

_He was quietly sneaking up behind her. He had already unzipped his pants and taken out his dick._

'_Ah what a pretty site we have.'_

_He said as he pushed himself against her. Causing her to be pushed into the wall. He knew she was a powerful biotic as many asari were._

_So he was prepared. The moment she reaced up was the moment he grabed her hand and forced it behind her back. _

_While using his own weight to hold her. He grabe a neadle and injected her with a powerful drug causing her biotic to overcharge and flare. Thus causing her to become severly week._

_Things around her seemed to spin out of controle. After what seemed a lifetime she was able to guage what was happening._

_She was up against the wall of the shower. A heavy hot body was on her. She could smell alcohol and cigar smoke. She could hear the mans panting breath. Then she felt it. He was inside her. She was being raped._

_She cryed out for someone to help. Nothing. The more she tried to get away the more forceful he got._

'_Please Stop'_

_He just laughed. Then trusted in her more. Over and over. Harder and harder with each thrust. Not looking at her. Just making grunting sounds and labored breathing._

'_Please Don't Do This' _

_The trusting became frantic. Then he finished and let her drop to the ground._

_Tears streamed down her face. Mixing with the water of the shower. The throubing between her legs. The pain of it all._

_-_-End Dream(1)-_-_

That was when she woke up screaming. Aethyta was by her side trying to calm her down. It was so bad that a group of nurses rushed in. They had to use heavy seaditives to calm her. Eventualy Liara calmed down enough and Aethyta was able to hold her. Liara wasn't able to say the mans name but Aethyta was abele to get it once Liara went back to sleep through a meld.

It was something like what Liara used to help Shepard read the message from the beacon. So now she had the name of the man and the ship. She couldn't do anything but she knew who could.

So as soon as Liara was in a deep peaceful sleep. Aethyta made a call to someone who she knew would be able to track this person down. It would take some time she knew. But once it was done noone would be hurt again.

What Aethyta didn't know at the time was the man responsible for raping Liara was also the same man who had raped Shepard all those years ago. This man would get what was coming to him. In the form of a beatuful killer, an Ardat Yakshi to be prosice. One of wich only she knew about that was free from being hunted. One that was an assassian used by the asari Matriarch themselves. Only she now knew the deadliest secreat of the asaris best assassin.

An hour had went by since Aethyta made the call. She was siting next to Liaras bed when the doctors came in to check on Liara. Everthing was going fine until Liaras heart rate spiked. That was when the doctors called in the other Matriarch and they began to bond and form a biotic bearier.

It wasn't working so they had to give Liara a dose of medican that would cause her to be both awake and asleep at the same time. This would allow Aethyta to do a meld safely. As the meld began it was like walking in a dream world. It stayed that way until the meld ended.

This is what Aethyta seen.

_-_-_-Aethyta Mind Meld Liara-_-_

_First was the memories of Liaras childhood. Her mother watching over her as Liara dug in the grass. Looking for treasure she would say. Always diggign to try to find new descoveries. _

_Then it was Liara as a teen. Sneaking into her mothers office. Going through her mothers personal records. She was looking for information on her father. The echo of her mothers voice in her head always saying that nothing good would come of it Little Wing._

Aethyta moved faster through Liara memories.

_The memorie of leaving for the digsite. The very one that would bring her and Shepard's lives colliding together._

_Then the memorie of her mother dying, and Shepard there to help pick up the shatterd pices. Then the moment before the final battle._

Now we are getting somewhere.

_Her finding out that last meld had caused her biology to kick in to become a mother. Then the bonding process with the babies. How Liara knows one is different. Trying to cope with the change. The guilt that Shepard will not be around to know. That was when Aethyta was able to pick up on one of the babies distress. So tracing that nervous system she was able to locate the baby._

_It was the very same one that Liara knew was different. Something Aethyta herself was able to sence. So she used another tecneck to try to focus on the baby more. To see if she could find out what was causing the baby to be in distress. Maybe something unknow was causing it to be unbalanced somewhere in its nervous system._

_As the child came into focus the sences of the baby became great. Indoing so Aethyta could tell several things about this child. All of it was normal. However it was going to be a very powerful biotic. Then as a vision or shape of the child became more vibrant to Aethyta the problem also became known._

This was not possible. This hasn't formed since the first acounts of Ardat Yakshi was reported. Even then reports were not believed. Many clamed that this was the cause of asari being Ardat Yakshi in the first place.

_A child appeared before her. A child that was a pale blue. No more then the age of six. Along sid of the child was Shepard and another child and Liara._

_However this child was different as much as it was asari it was also human. However more human then it appered. It also was portraying itself as male. A male asari. A healthy child. _

This was causing Liara distress. The asari mind was not prepared for such a thing. All they ever knew was to be monogender. However one human doctor compared them to a worm. Having in a sence both male and female reproductive organs. This is wrong but not to far off. Its best to just leave it alone because it is to confusing to other species to try to explane.

_Aethyta became hypersensitive when she was attached to the childs nervous system. Everything around her was hightened. This was the cause of illness Liara was going through. In order to help she had to ajust the nervous system of both the child and Liara to be more in tune with each other. Once that was done she could then focus on the other child and aline it with Liara so all three would become like one and develop as normal._

Of course Aethyta would keep this news to herself. Because several things could happen if in fact this one child is born male. It also could become an Ardat Yakshi instead. But if a male is born all kinds of backlash and specilation and science remifacations will be droped in Liara's lap. Something Aethyta isn't going to allow. No matter the outcome.

_So the systems of both children and Liara was now intune with each other. Aethyta was able to leave Liara mind and nervous system. But before she went she left a pice of herself behind. Something that would give Liara strenth in the times to come._

_-_-_-End Aethyta Mind Meld Liara-_-_

When the mind meld was complet Aethyta was drained. So was the other Matriarchs. Doing something like that for the time period it took for it to work was walking a dangerous line. But it had to be done. Soon they were all back in a room resting and would be until next time if needbe.

Aethyta stayed in Liara's room. Watching over her and getting sleep in when she could. All the while the knolage of what could come was in the back of her mind.

Liara was starting to break her fever. This was the first time she showed signs that things was headed for the best.

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Just down the hall while all this was happening with Liara.

Shepard and her mother had talked about what to say to the crew. She wasn't feeling up to seeing anyone. Her main concern was what was going on with Liara. However her mother wouldn't tell her she knew something was wrong. It wasn't like Liara to not be with her if she could. Well with the exception of the whole Shadow broker thing.

So Shepard knew something wasn't right. She couldn't just get out of bed and go storming off to find her. Wich is what she would do if she could. So she had to relie on the gossuip of the staff. Some talked about seeing a person who looked like Liara being wheeled into the hospital. Others talked about several Matriarch being here. Someone talked about them having an orgy just down the hall.

So much of it was just speculation. However without her knowing it there was some truth to what was being talked about.  
All her mother would say is Liara is alive and doing good. That she would know more when they knew more.

For Shepard that was a bunch of bullshit because she knew they knew more. Just not telling her for whatever reason.  
This just caused her to want to know more. Witch in turn agervated her and caused her heart rate to elevate and caused a panic.  
So her mother got a doctor and the next thing she knew was knocked out asleep.

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Across the galaxy word had made it to Nerio that the Normandy had landed safely. That everyone on board was alive and Liara was getting the medical help she needed. The last part of the message was not something brocasted on public chanels. Nerio had been waiting for word about Liara ever since she heard the news.

Her and Liara had been friends for many years now. Something she wasn't going to get into descusing right now. But when Liara needed help when her ship was attacked by Cerberus Nerio was there. No questions asked. That was just the way they were.

So her she was on her way to Liara's homworld. She found it strange because of all her life she had never been to her fathers homeworld Palaven. However her mothers was from Eden Prime but the main homeworld of course was Earth. Her mother would take her to Earth for time to time. Most didn't know she was a hybrid, well not until she got older. Then she started showing more human features like having hair.

Her time between Earth and the ship she lived on was well spent. She made some human friends and was able to attend some classes in a private human school. Even her recent mate was a human female. One she met when she was a student at the private school.

Oh but that was then.

In a matter of minuets they would be landing on Thessia.

Miranda was awake and had made some coffee for herself and Nerio. She had awoken before the message came about the Normandy. She made her way to the bridge and that was where she found Nerio. Asleep in the seat next to Ace.

Ace had been in contact with the ground team that was in charge of directing traffic. He was advised that there had been some Cerberus troops that were scouting the area. They were heavily gunned and looking for the same thing Nerio was. Ace was informed of a secret landing pad on the west side of the entrance. It would be a tight squeeze for both ships but out of sight of Cerberus.

The team monitoring that area was informed of two Geth ships that would be landing there.

Once they landed it would only be a matter of time for Cerberus to detect them. Because the landing zone and the entrance were in s striate line but the landing entrance was facing away from the main building entrance. The would leave them coming around to the front of the building. Also there was only one way around that was safe to travel.

So as soon as Nerio was awake and after the message about the Normandy was heard. Ace informed her of the situation on the ground. In turn cause a smile to grace Nerio face.

She knew this was not going to be _'a walk in the park'_ _(That was an old human saying)_. That was why she had Perry updated on her mission. Nothing was ever simple when it came to things like this. So once she had her coffee and suited up. She had an extra suit for Miranda and the two of them made there way to the small cargo hold of the ship.

They would do an air drop. Just the two of them. The ship would get close enough so a small parachute would work. Kind of like the ones you would see in old Earth sport vids about base jumping. It was something Miranda had never done. Nerio on the other hand has done this many times. Even before she was an adult.

Miranda looked at Nerio. She couldn't believe she was about to do something like this.

'_So are you sure you know what your doing?'_

Miranda tried to hide the fear.

'_Yeah, trust me.'_

Nerio said with excitement in her voice.

Then without warning they jumped.

So while they was landing the ship was heading to the landing zone.

Nerio and Miranda landed behind a covering of trees and a big boulder_(large rock)_. That gave then enough ground coverage to scope out the surounding area. Nerio used her sniper rifle to get a better gage on the distance from where they were to the entrance. Miranda use a secure channel to radio the ground team that was aware that they would be landing. She gave told them that they have landed and should arrive shortly. They didn't spot any Cerberus soldiers at the moment.

Shortly after that Ace contacted Nerio and informed her they had safely landed. However a small group of Cerberus soldiers was only 30ft away. They didn't appear to be heavily armed so it could just be scouts. Ace had unloaded a small MECH to help him and the other geth to take them out. Along with the MECH they also had five Geth Prime units.

Nerio knew for now that would be enough. However she knew that Cerberus would send in heavy forces if they could. So they had to play this smart. She informed Ace of her landing location and the situation. Also contacted Petty. He and his ship could be there in the next 10min, so air support was on the way.

Nerio and Miranda headed for the entrance. They took cover where the could. They could hear the gunfire from behind them. Indicating that Ace and his team was not far behind. There was only about 75ft to go before they got to the entrance. That was when 30 or so Cerberus soldiers showed up behind them.

There was little cover this time. Miranda was behind a rock wall. Nerio was behind a tree. They had taken out about half when an Atlas appeared. It was firing on Miranda. There was no way for Nerio to get a clean shot from her spot with a rocket launcher. So she had to come out of cover and dash to where Miranda was.

This had now became a dangerous fierfight. As she made it to Miranda she was able to get off the shot. Talking it out but not before a Cerberus Cernturion was able to take a shot at Miranda. However they missed Miranda but got Nerio instead.

Nerio had seen the Cernturion and step in front of Miranda. Turning her back at the right angle so it wouldn't be lethal. Shortly after that Nerio was pressed up against Miranda from the impact of the shot. The two of them were now face to face. About that time was when Ace and the remaining troops arrived. Nerio was able to hear Ace arrive and the gunfire die down.

Nerio went to move when Miranda grabbed her and kissed her. It was a fiery kiss. It was intense and both of them was shocked. When Miranda let go Nerio stumbled backwards slightly. Just at that moment Ace was there to catch Nerio before she could fall. She was heavily wounded but it wasn't critical.

The team made it inside the building without any interferance from Cerberus. While Miranda was talking to who she needed to about the implants, Nerio was getting medical attention. They would stay where they was until reinforcements could arrive in about three hours. Once the reinforcements arrived they were on there way back to the ship. It would be several hours later before they was ready to leave. Neither one of them talked about the kiss while still on Thessia.

* * *

**_Sorry it took so long to update. Dec. 24 was my birthday and then Christmas. _**

**_So things happened even before the big shit srorm of family. _**

**_I have been extreamly sick also. As always this is not Beta so all mistakes are mine. _**

**_Reviews are always welcome. Thank you to all who read. _**

**_Hope you all had a wounderful Christmas or whatever you celebrate._**

**_I tried to make this longer then normal but i don't think i did. _**

**_Once again thank you all. May you all have a safe and happy New Year._**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10::…

What could have been. (Novembers Doom)

* * *

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Aboard Nerio's ship….

Nerio stayed manily on the bredge. She was in no shape to really move about. She gunshot was to her right side wasn't a threw and threw. The wound was infected but nothing that couldn't be maintained. There was pices of armor stuck in the tissue that once back on Earth would need to be taken care of.

Miranda had sucured the package for Aethyta and went to the bridge to check on Nerio. When she got there Nerio was asleep in the chair once again.

She knew they should talk about the kiss but it was obvious that Nerio didn't want to talk about it. At least for now. Miranda wasn't going to do to Nerio what she did to Shepard. As soon as Nerio was awake they were going to talk.

Miranda then went back to the cabin that Nerio allowed her to stay in. She had to think about how to approach Nerio. What to say. She knew that the kiss wasn't just a thank you for shielding me type of kiss. Somehow that kiss went from a simple thank you to a I wasn't to fuck you. Somewhere deep down she knew Nerio knew it too.

For Miranda that had clarity written all in that kiss. She was able to kiss someone like that and it not be Shepard. Yeah sure she had kissed a few people after the war while Shepard was healing. She tried to move on from Shepard before all her emotional turmoil hit. Then Shepard ends back up in the hospital. Causing her to be here now. So somehow something inside her changed and allowed her to kiss someone like that and not feel guilty. Maybe she was over Shepard after all. She just needed a death defying moment to realize it.

Nerio sleep for about two hours. When she finally got up she asked Ace to help her to the cabin. She had to talk to Miranda. Ace put the ship on autopilot to help her. When they got there she asked him to leave. She needed to do this alone.

She knocked on the door and waited. She didn't have to wait long before Miranda opened the door. As soon as Miranda opened the door she stepped to the side to let Nerio in. Miranda wasn't sure what to expect. She was going to say something but Nerio started first.

'_Ok, I know that we should talk about the kiss. So just hear me out.'_

Nerio said and pointed for Miranda to take a seat.

'_It was very clear that kiss was more then a "Thank you for shielding me from the bullet" kind of kiss. It may even been intended that way at first, but it sure didn't stay that way. It turned into a "I wanna fuck you" kiss.' _

Nerio was pacing as she talked. She looked at Miranda from time to time to see if she was following her. And she was so she continued.

'_So whatever caused it. Well lets just say that I'm cool with it. Also if your not involved with anyone I would like to take you out. Like a proper date. So what you say?'_

Once Nerio finished she stopped pacing and faced Miranda. She didn't expect Miranda to answer right away. She just wanted to know something.

Wow that was so not what Miranda was expecting to say the least.

'_That was a lot to take in all at once. Ok so first things first.'_

Miranda said trying to give herself time to properly respond.

'_The kiss surprised me also. Yes it was to be just a "Thank you" kiss. But like you said it didn't stay that way.'_

She looked at Nerio and then down at the floor. This last part was going to be hard. She would love to go out with her, but then what of Shepard. Wait what was she thinking. She already knows where her and Shepard stand. So Miranda answered truthfully.

'_I would like that very much. I just have to clear some loose ends up first. To be honest. I believe that what happened opened my eyes and heart once again. So Yes a proper date is lovely.'_

As Miranda was about to finish she stood and took Nerio hand and helped her walk over to the bed.

The both of them then sat in silence for a time. Then Miranda spoke again.

'_You need to take it easy so you can heal. Why don't you take the bed.'_

Nerio looked at her. Then shook her head no.

'_I would feel better if you did. Please, you are exhausted I can tell.'_

Nerio exhaled and a sharp pain shot through her. But she still tried to lie.

'_No I'm good. Besides I can sleep better on the bridge.'_

That wasn't a complete lie. Miranda seen through it thou.

'_Look I know what your doing. Its not going to work. I could hear the pain in your voice. So lay down. I'll stay on the couch if that's ok.'_

Nerio gave in. She was too sore to try to argue. She also knew Miranda was right. But she also knew that couch wasn't fit to sleep on let alone sit on. It had things poking through the seat at times. She was just to lazy to get rid of it.

'_Miranda you don't have to sleep on the couch. Besides its broken. You can share the bed with me. Please.'_

She couldn't just let Miranda sleep on that thing. It was wrong.

Miranda said she would share the bed. Then she helped Nerio get comfortable. Nerio pushed the com button on the table next to the bed. She had to let Ace know she would be sleeping in the cabin and Miranda was going to take care of her. That things are fine. Once that was done she closed her eyes and was off to sleep. Miranda stayed for a while then left to make something to eat.

Somehow Miranda knew this was going to be a beautiful friendship if nothing more. But who was she kidding. She knew that it would lead to at least getting laid. So now all she had to do was brush up on her turian biology.

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While things with Miranda and Nerio was going on….

Shepard had a visit with her mother. It was short but she informed her of what was going on finaly with Liara. Leaving out the fact that Liara is pregnant and carring twins. She thought it best that Liara be the one to tell her. They talked about many thing. One of which was Miranda. Shepard did her best to tell the basics of her relationship with Miranda. Also in the process she told her mother that her and Miranda would remain friends and nothing else. She also told her mother that she was going to tell Miranda that when she ended up in the hospital.

Hannah Shepard knew that things between them haven't always been good. Not like some familys. She was not always the best mother. However her daughter had made her proud. Even before saving the galixy. Knowing her daughter has tried to make things right in her adult life but knowing that people will get hurt sometimes. That is what makes her smile and gives her the feeling of pride.

When Shepard mother left fot the day she seen Nichi Vitelli. Nichi was her daughters ex-girlfriend/ex-fiancée. Things between them ended not completely on a bad not but it was far from something you would call a healed relationship. She had keept tabs on her but when the war hit she lost her in the suffle of things. Hannah Shepard last knew that Nichi became some kind of tech specialest or something for the Alliance.

Hannah was going to go talk to her until she seen Nichi talking to a nurse. She looked sad. The nurse looked confused for a moment and then looked susprised. After a moment of talking the nurst gestered for Nichi to follow her. Hannah had an important meeting to attend so she couldn't spy on her. She would findout later anyhow so she left.

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While Rear Admrial Hannah Shepard was gone…

A nurst led Nichi to Shepard room. Before letting her enter the nurse went in first. To make sure Shepard was awake and up for another visiter. Not knowing that Nichi would be one of the last people Shepard would want to see. Shepard wasn't awake but would need to be for her intake of medical fludids and pure oxygen regiments that would be aministered in the next hour.

The nurse told this to Nichi when she came out of Shepard room. Nichi asked if she could at least see Shepard and leave a note before she had to go. This was somewhat a lie. The nurse said it would be ok and was going to stay and make sure she left but got called away before she could do so.

While the nurse left Nichi went into Shepard room and took a seat next to the bed. She had at least an hour before the doctors and nurses would return to check on Shepard and give her meds. So she just sat there. So much time had passed since they both was in the same room together. They both changed some. Shepard had become scarred not just from the surgery but mainy from seeing so much combat.

Herself had gained a few scars while she's been apart of the Alliance. This was something she knew could happen to the both of them. Moreso to Shepard. However there was only a few things about Shepard that susprised her. One was Shepard becoming a SPECTRE. The other was Miranda Lawson. Yeah the N7 thing was a susprise at first but only the fact that Shepard made it in to them so young. She knew that Shepard would be N7, call it a hunch. She just thought it would take longer. Some of the other things was not too susprising. Others like saving the galixy was something that took everyone by susprise.

Nichi just watched Shepard sleep. While she did things started playing in her mind. Things of what was.

_-_-_-Start Memory-_-_-_

_Sitting on the beach watching Marz surf. Blue swimsuit and a longboard wooden surfboard. The bottom of the board was painted in a fantsy/mystical style. It depicted a female elf holding a baby water dragon in some kind of water ruins. _

_While she watched Marz surf. She was also picturing Marz teaching their son or daughter to surf while she got lunch ready. A family outing at the beach._

_-_-_-End Memory-_-_-_

Just as Nichi sighed from the memory not to be, Shepard woke up.

Not sure what to say Shepard just made a sound. Something between a yawn and a grunt. This caused Nichi to look at Shepard and see she was awake.

At first Nichi didn't know what to say, but finaly she said something.

'_I'm not here to start shit. I just came to see you. So now I'll leave.'_

She got up to leave when Shepard grabed her arm.

'_No don't go. Please stay. We should talk.'_

Shepard was so groggy and it hurt to talk but they need to. It was a long time coming. Shepard didn't want to wait because who knows when she would have this chance again.

'_Ok. So what now?'_

Nichi was lost. She at first knew why she wanted to see Shepard. Now it was real and she felt lost.

'_Look why don't you talk and I lisen. Tell me why you're here and go from there. Or whatever makes you confortable.'_

Shepard had to force the last part of that out. It felt like needles poking at her throat.

Nichi got up her nerve.

'_First I want to say I'm sorry. Sorry for how I treated you and how we ended things. It shouldn't of happened that way. I don't want to get into it now. We can talk about it later if you want. I realy just wanted to see you. To… I don't know. Just to see how you were and to say congrats. I wish you and Miranda well.'_

Nichi didn't know Shepard wasn't with Miranda. But she was able to say the truth and it felt good. She also ment what she said about talking later. It was something that would best be done privately and when Shepard was better.

'_Ok. I'm also sorry for how it ended. You don't blame yourself. I also share the blame. Your right we can talk about that later. Oh and I'm not with Miranda.'_

When Shepard said that. Nichi had a look of susprise on her face considering the last she heard was Shepard and Miranada was together. How in the hell did she not know that.

'_Oh I didn't know. Wow, and don't make some smart ass commit about how it got pass me. So if no Miranda then you single?'_

Nichi wasn't sure if she wanted to know or not. The biggest part being if not who was Shepard with. Did she realy want to know.

'_She's not able to be by my side. She's here in the hospital, sick is all I know. My mom says she's ok. Her name is Liara T'Soni.'_

At first Nichi wasn't sure she heard right. Then the name and everything came together. Ok so she was defently slipping. The powerhouse couple both in the hospital. Along with the fact that one is the hero of the galixy. Now will be a parent. This keeps getting better.

'_Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Anyways congrats on becoming a mother. Wait technicaly you're a father. So yeah congrats. Got a name picked out?'_

There it was. Shepard looked dumbstruck. Ok something was defentaly off thought Nichi.

'_Yeah you would be right. That is if me and Liara was having kids. We're not yet.'_

Shepard said and as susprised as ever. Along with being confused.

'_Wow,so you don't know. How is it you don't know? Liara came in not just because she is sick. But because she was having problems with the baby. I can't believe noone told you.'_

Nichi couldn't believe it. She also hoped this didn't cause problems. Why wouldn't anyone tell Shepard. Was it because something was wrong with the baby. Or could it be something like they wanted Liara to tell Shepard. Whatever the case Shepard knows now.

Sherpard was just about ready to say something when a nurse walked in.

'_Oh I'm sorry I wan't told you had a visiter. I just came to check your chart and vitals. I can come back later.'_

The nurse said. She didn't realy want to have to come back because it was the end of her shift but she also didn't want to intrude on Shepard having visits.

'_No its ok your not interrupting anything. I was just about ready to go. So Marz I will talk to you later.'_

Nichi was going to leave but once again Shepard stoped her. Shepard had to know more. So once again Nichi stayed and waited for the nurse to leave.

After some time the nurse left and the two of them talked once again. While they talked Shepard found out that Liara was indeed pregnant. However Nichi didn't know about Liara having twins so Shepard would have to find that out later.

They talked about the breakup and how it went wrong. How they would have to sit down and talk more. To make things right or what Shepard would call it. They both knew that there wasn't realy a way to make it right, but they both still had things to say. Make things clear and be honest. That was important for both of them to heal. Nichi left about ten minuets before the doctors came in to do whatever it was with Shepard. She was drained and so was Shepard. All in all it was a good visit.

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Down the hall in Liara's room….

Aethyta was watching Liara's vitals. They have been going through some strange fluxes. It wasn't right. The meld was not working. All that work was starting to loose its hold. That ment Miranda had better get back and fast. Because what she was bringing was their last hope. Nomatter how unconventional and somewhat dangerous it was. It wasn't deadly but dealing with anything like what Liara was going through was always dangerous.

So now she just had to wait. She watched Liara for a time. While she did memories of her younger years flooded threw her mind.

_-_-_-Start Aethyta Flashback Before Benezia(1)-_-_-_

_She was shaking her ass in some slezzy bar. It wasn't what her mother wanted her to do. So here she was doing it anyways. Her father didn't care because he knew she could take care of herself. _

_He raised her right he would say. She was so much like him. Foul mouth and all. That's what you get for having a Krogan as a father. Or at least that's what her mother got for having a Krogan as a bondmate and the father of her child. _

_Aethyta was almost done with her shift when a stranger walked in. The stranger walked up to where she was and placed 5,000 credits on a private dance from her. So now she was in a private room with this stranger who just for now wanted her to dance._

_A few drinks and an hour late and her shift was over. However the stranger had paid for a full night. So now all she could do was oblige. She was about to do another dance when the stranger stoped her by teling her that it wasn't needed and she was free to go._

_She didn't know what to think. Hell she din't know how to thank them. Because as soon as she steped down from the stage the stranger was gone. All that was left was the empty glasses and a note writen on a napkin. It simply said…._

"_Thank You."_

_Truth be told she din't even know if the stranger was male or female. She did know that they were humanlike. Meaning they wasn't krogan turian salarian or some other species she knew of. Hell for all she knew they could even be another asari. _

_One that was maybe a Matriarch who didn't want to be known._

_The stranger had a hood and keep their face covered. The mask muffled there voice when they spoke. The rest of the outfit was not reveling in anyy form. It wasn't loose but not to tight. Just the way it was warn and fit you couldn't tell. _

_So here she was changing and getting ready to leave. Left wanting to know more. If they would come back. Just anything so she could thank them._

_-_-_-End Aethytat Flashback Before Benezia(1)-_-_-_

Wow, Aethyta thought. That memory was one she would never forget. That was one of her first times she met the stranger. The one who din't make her feel like just some asari dancer shaking her ass. It was weeks before the stranger returned. Hell it would be even longer when she was able to learn the strangers name. Well the one they used anways.

She looked back over at Liara and a smile creeped across her face. All the years spent watching Liara grow up, but always from a distance. Now her baby was having babies. She never thought she would be a parent let alone a grandparent.

_-_-_-Start Aethyta Flashback Before Benezia-_-_-_

_Weeks passed and the stranger didn't returne. Aethyta was starting to loose hope that they would ever returne. It was two weeks and three days to the day the last time she seen the stranger. _

_She just got change and was heading out the door. That was when she seen them. They were talking to the bouncer. She knew it was them because it was the same type of outfit from before. She didn't know if she should go up and say something or not. _

_That's when the bouncer pointed to her. Indicating to the stranger where she stranger turned and looked at her. Well staired actualy. _

_Then they must of noticed she was dressed to go home. They turned back to the bouncer and gave her something. Then they went for the door to leave. _

_That's when Aethyta ran after them. She just had to know. She even would stay if they did. Even as tired as she was she would stay, but only for them. Somhow this person got to her. _

_She was something…maybe intreged was the right word. Hell whatever it was caused Aethyta to want to stay._

"_Hay, wait. You don't have to leave. I can stay and dance for you."_

_Nothing but the stranger did stop walking. _

_And their head went down. Ok so now what._

"_Ok, so…could you say something. At least let me know if I need go back in and get ready."_

_A deep breath she heard coming from the stranger. It was like they were trying to decide. Aethyta was about to walk away when the stranger said something._

"_Ok, a private room like last time. Lead the way."_

_Something about this would look crazy to the outsider watching. However for Aethyta she felt safe strangly enough. _

_So they walked back in and Aethyta had the bouncer to get them a room and a few drinks. Once inside the stranger sat down on the couch in frount of the dance stage. Aethyta was about to go behind the stage to change when the stranger spoke._

"_I don't want you to danc. Not tonight. You're still gonna get paid for your time."_

_This was new. Ok now what Aethyta. _

"_Ok so what do you want me to do?"_

_Oh great did she just ask that. Yep she did. This could lead to all kinds of truble. Aethyta wasn't showing she was nervous. However the stranger must of already knew._

"_I just want you to sit with me. I enjoy the quiet. I enjoy the company of a beautiful person. And allowing me to enjoy them both would please me."_

_Ok this was defently crazy, right. So sit her and not talk while they enjoy the quiet and with her. Sound simple enough. _

_The stranger sat back and got comfy on the couch. Then patted the seat next to them for Aethyta to sit also._

"_Ok we can do this. Is there anything else you want or need?"_

_Aethyta asked. Not sure what to expect. The stranger just shook their head no and let out a deep breath._

_-_-_-End Aethyta Flashback Before Benezia-_-_-_

It was the sound of Liara coughing that pulled Aethyta form that memory.

When she looked to make suer Liara was ok she found Liara was awake.

'_Father is everything ok?'_

Liara asked in a horsed voice.

'_Everything is fine. You just need to rest more Little Wing.'_

Aethyta said and tried to make Liara more confortable. Giving her some water. She didn't know what more to do. She could see Liara was physicaly drained. Her skin was hot and felt clamy to the touch. It wasn't bad yet but it was getting there. Oh how she hoped that Miranda would make it back soon.

Liara even as weak as she was could tell her father was worried about something. However she was to weak to even stay awake let alone ask about it. She slowly drifted off back to sleep while her father rubed her arm.

It didn't take long for Liara to get to a deep sleep. Her father stayed and keep watch over her.

_-_-_-Start Aethyta Flashback Before Benezia-_-_-_

_Another week had passed and this time the stranger had been at the club every night. It had become the same old thing. They show up and pay an unbelievable amout of credits for a private room with Aethyta. Some times they would just want to sit and enjoy the quiet. _

_Well tonight was different. The stranger wante only one dance. While Aethyta danced the stranger watched. Just before the end of the dance the stranger gave Aethyta a name._

"_I'm called Riala."_

_Then they sat back and watch the last of the dance. Aethyta finished and got dressed. She returned and Riala was gone. Left on the couch was a note on a napkin. It simply read…_

"_Thank you Aethyta. Riala."_

_So that was that. Aethyta left and went home. So now she knew. More questions would come. Some would be answerd while causing more questions. She knew that Riala was different from the regular customers. There was no groping or making cat call when they came in. _

_It was simple and just a moment of your time. Now the questions were what was Riala looking for. Was there something or someone they was running away from for that hour. _

_Several weeks and the same old thing with Riala. However six month went pass and that was when Riala revealed themselves to Aethyta. _

_When Riala took off the mask Aethyta could see three deep larg scars that went form the left bottom lip down the neck and to the chest._

_Riala took off the top part of the hooded cloke. Revealing female breast. So there it was a human female. With some badass scars. Under the hood was a gorgeous red hair that was wavy. Finaly Riala opened her eyes and revealed that her eyes was almost colorless. Just a faint red circle that outlined the iris of the eye. The pupil wasn't what you would call black but more of a dark purple_.

_It was amazing realy. Aethyta had seen her and seen the beauty that was her. Over the next few months Riala and Aethyta got to know each other. Hell they were now considered a couple at Aethyta's work. Even if they wasn't a couple they sure was heading that way. That was until Riala was gunned down in frount of Aethyta. Riala was rushed to a hospital by the clubs bouncer. Riala died before they got help. _

_-_-_-End Aethyta Flashback Before Benezia-_-_- _

That memory caused Aethyta to shed a tear. So she went to the restroom to wash her face. She didn't want to take the chance someone would see her like this. Crying over what could have been.

After washing her face she returned to sit next to Liara's bedside once again. That was when she fell asleep herself.

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While Aethyta sleeped….

Several hoursed had passed. Nerio's ship was making its final aproch to Earth. During that time Nerio had sleep. Miranda had watched over her. While doing so Nerio had developed a slight fevor. As long as it didn't rise Miranda knew Nerio would be fine.

Ace radioed the hospital to let them know that Miranda would be ariving shorly with the package. Also he asked the hospital for a doctor by the name of Dr. McCoy. He said it was of utmost important that his captian be seen by her doctor due to having a gunshot wound.

So shortly after that a hospital broadcast went out on private channels. The hospital was preparing for Miranda to arive. Also a page went out to Dr. McCoy to be available to attend to a personal patient.

As soon as the ship landed the hospital staff was waiting. Dr. McCoy was also there. Miranda handed the medical team that was in charge of Shepard healt the implants. She then went to find Aethyta.

While she was gone Ace showed Dr. McCoy to where Nerio was. The doctor looked at the wound and immediately started to doctor the wound. After cleaning the infected area and removing the scrap metal from the area. Dr. McCoy added a proteen overlay and stiched the area. Then covered it with gauls. It would scar but nothing new there.

Nerio had a few and didn't mind them on bit. So another one was like ading a badge of hornor or courage. Each one told a story. This one was a story in the making.

Ace was given a list of meds Nerio needed to take along with a personal contact number if Nerio needed anything. Then the doctor left. Nerio would be fine in a few weeks.

As soon as the medical team recived the implants Shepard was rushed off to be preped for yet another surgery. This one however would take several hours to complet as long as nothing went wrong.

Miranda was pointed to a nurse who knew where Aethyta was.

When that was going on. The specialist that had preformed the type of procedure was being paged. Liara herself was also being prepaird for what was about to come.

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The hospital went in a sectional lockdown. It was so what they were about to do with Liara would have a smaller chance to be leaked out to the public.

Besides it wasn't a known knowledge that you could inject a pregnant asari with liquid Red Sand and Minagen X3 and three grams of Hallex. It was a combo mixture that was not completely safe to asari but the Red Sand reduced the risk when added to the mix.

What the effects would do was something on the bases like a biotic flare. Except this was administered strait to the womb and into the birthing fluids. Causing the baby or in Liaras case babies to produce extreme biotic flares.

The Matriarchs was also the ones who would be joing their minds with Liaras to give her the mental stability. Aethyse would be involved by guiding the connection between Liara and the babies. This would be a extream process that would take hours and cause extream exhaustion in the Matriarchs. No matter what they had to maintain the meld until the prociduger was over.

There wasn't anyone could do while the medical team was working on Liara now except wait and of course pray to whatever God or Goddess they found confort from.

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Down the hall was Shepards medical team. The procedure was going extremely smoothly. They had only a few problems that was nothing unexpected. The task of what they were doing was monumental in scope. The original plan whas just to replace the damaged implants with the new ones.

When the doctors took a closer look they decided it would be best to redo all the crucial implants. This was more of a way to insure that the major organs would not fail due to the old inplants.

It would be about 12hours before the implants would be almost done. Several more hours before it would be done. Giving the doctors a total of 16hours of actual surgical time and three hours of closuer time.

In all once Shepard was done it was 24hours later when she was moved to recovery. Shepard would have to stay in an isolated area for up to three months. It was kinda like an adult form of an incubater that preme babies would be put in. Only doctors and nurse staff would be allowed to enter the room. They would also be required to ware specilised suits to help prevent cross contamination of any bacteria that would cause infection.

It was several hours later when Liara was moved to recovery. She would have to be closely monitored for the next several hours. This was to allow her body to adjust and relax. The procedure was successful. They knew the moment Liara started to vomit and the Matriarch started to get nose bleeds. The first sings that it took to indicate it was safe for the process to end the meld.

So while all that was going on Miranda went back to the ship to check on Nerio.

* * *

**_So I gave Aethyta stranger friend the name Riala to show how or why Liara ended up whit her name. _**

**_Its kinda like how in the real world are named after someone close to our parent or parents. Like a grandmother or grandfather or an uncle or aunt. Someone that could also have died before we was born. In a way to remember and hornor that person even if they are alive. I don't know if I explaned it righ tbut I hope you understand._**

**_Also the title of this chapter came form a song with the same neme._**

**_What Could Have Been - By Novembers Doom. They are a death/doom metal band that has some mellow music like this song. You may just like it if you check it out. _**

**_Just so you know the next chapter is gonna jump in time. It will take place after Liara and Shepard are already out of the hospital._**

**_As always this is not beta_**

**_Reviews are welcom. _**

**_Hope you all enjoyed the hollidays and stayed safe this New Years eave. I hope your year to come is filled with happyness. _**

**_thank you to all my followers and to the ones who do review along with the ones who just read it. _**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11::…

Feelin' good. (Nina Simone)

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While Shepard was in the recovery room people came to visit. They could only see her throug glass and had to speak with her using an intercom device.

Shepard mother was of course the first to visit. They had talked about what Nichi had to say. Then Shepard brought up the fact that her own mother didn't tell her about Liara. Her mother went on the defensive and in the end said that she thought it was best that Liara told her. However they didn't know at the time how crucial Liara's condition was. After some time Shepard was able to forgive her mother. She had been through to much to be angry for to long over small things.

They even talked about what Shepard was going to do when she was finally ready to leave the hospital. Shepard made the decision to use her own money from her Spectre account to buy a small house on Earth for now. That was until Liara decided if she wanted to stay on Earth or go back to Thessia.

Shepard mother wasn't to thrilled about the Thessia idea. She didn't know much about the planet except what the military reports had and of course when she was there only a matter of three times. All three time she was in the city of Asyuta. It is located in a similar location as the Earth city in Egypt with the similar name. Shepard mother knew how much her daughter liked to surf and didn't know if Thessia had an ocean and if so was it like Earths oceans and surfable.

So once Shepard was able to reinsure her mother that as long as her and Liara was happy that was what mattered. Not only that but she could always come to Earth for holidays and surf.

In between her mothers visits Liara came to see her. Liara first talked about why she didn't tell Shepard about getting pregnant. It was because she found out after they crash-landed on the planet. Then they talked about how Shepard was doing. Trying to get off the subject of the babies. Somehow Shepard was able to bring them right back to that. Once Shepard was satisfied that all was ok with the babies they were able to talk about other things. One of which was Miranda. Shepard didn't try to avoid the conversation. Actually she was the one to bring it up. She told the truth and even told Liara that if need be Liara could even talk to Miranda. Knowing full well that she would anyways. It was just Liara way of handling things.

Then the more touchy subject came up. Nichi. Liara knew some of Shepard past and some of the details of what happened. Most of it was shared during melds. The fact that Shepard and Nichi was tiring to work out some of the problems between them was ok with Liara. The problem was when Shepard insisted on having private talks with her. Outside of a controlled environment. Liara was afraid of what kind of attitude she would have to deal with from Shepard if things went wrong.

Finally they talked about where they wanted to live permanently. It was something that Liara had thought about before this all happened with Shepard. It was something she wanted to suspires Shepard with. So for now that was left up in the air.

Miranda and Shepard talked about what happened between them. They both shared the blame for not talking about it. For just letting it fall through the cracks. They admitted that the sex was really the only thing at the end that was keeping them in the so called relationship. Miranda even talked about what happened when she went to get the implants. Shepard let out a laugh. Miranda didn't at first find it funny. Then later she was able to see the humor in it.

Nichi stopped by a few times. To mainly check on Shepard. Things between them was much better. They could talk. Like really talk without it ending up as an argument. She told Shepard that she would be leaving for Palaven to help with the rebuilding. So she would be gone for up to a year. That maybe when she was back they could catch up. Also she was looking forward to seeing Shepard with the kids if they were born by then. However Shepard couldn't help but feel like something was a miss.

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It was 4mnts later…..

Life was finally starting to get back to normal. Shepard and Liara was living in a house that Shepard bought on the coast of Jeffreys Bay, South Africa. Liara loved it. She didn't think that they would be living her. Considering Shepards mother was in England.

They talked aoubt moving permitaly to Thessia. Liara had other plans. Ones she had made before everything went to hell. She wanted to live on Earth. So after a few aurguments and Liara sending Shepard to go live with her mother. Shepard finaly gave in. They decided that once the girls were born and was older they could have holidays on Thessia. It wasn't going to rob them of there culture living on Earth.

Miranda and Nerio finaly became an official couple. They stayed mainly on the ship helping out with repairs and coordinating travil to different planets. Miranda let Oriana have the apartment. The two of them along with the remainder of the Normandy crew was at the house warming party that Liara insisted on having.

Things was slowly changing in the house. Liara did most of the deceration. Shepard had a small shooting range off the back of the house. Liara had an office where she could still do her Shadow Broker work. One thing she agreed on was the Feron would take over much of it later. She would still be the boss but letting him handle the bulk of it.

Liara herself was really showing. She had started to gain weight but it was a healthy weight. She was about two weeks from her due date. Her back was starting to hurt indicating that the babies would be born sometime within her due dat. Shepard had also healed. Faster the what the doctors had intesipated. She had a few extra scars. They were scars that Liara would soon in time come to love also. Shepard was out with her mother getting things for the babies.

Liara was home doing some of her Shadow Broker work and talking to Feron about an upcoming job. When a noise interrupted her work. It was a knocking at the main door. So she looked at the entrence moniter. It was Councilor Tevos with a child. She couldn't tell what species the child was because they had on a hood and their head was down. Nothing else was exposed. She knew Tevos didn't have children of her own. She also couldn't fathom why they was here.

Considering it was Councilor Tevos is the only reason why Liara answered the door. When she got to the door she could hear Councilor Tevos talking to the child about being so nervous. When she heard that Liara rolled her eyes. Not being nervous was not so easy to overcome along with being shy. Liara straitened her self and then opened the door.

'Councilor Tevos it's nice to see you. What brings you here?'

Liara managed a cheerful tone.

She didn't notice the larg duffle bag sitting on the ground next to the child.

'The same to you.'

Councilor Tevos wasn't in a good mood, however the matter at hand was the cause of it. Not the child with her.

'Come in please.'

Liara said as she opened the door more to allow them to enter. That was when she noticed the child grabbed the large duffle bag. It was heavy and the child was struggling with it. So Liara decided to help.

She took the bag and sat it down at the door when she closed it.

She offerd Councilor Tevos and the child a seat on the couch.

They all sat. After getting some refreshments for all of them Liara asked why they was there.

'So what brings you her?'

'I must speak with Commander, sorry I ment Marz. It is of the utmost importance.'

'I'm sorry but Marz isn't home now. Maybe I could help you.'

This caused Tevos to drop her head for a moment and a slight frown appeared.

'Oh I see. When will Marz return?'

'I'm not sure to be honest.'

Liara had noticed the uncomforting feeling that had developed in the room

'Well thank you anyways. We shoud be going.'

Tevos was about ready to leave when the door opened. Marz had walked in with Hannah right behind her.

'Hay Liara we got the… Oh Councilor Tevos. Sorry I didn't see you there.'

'It's ok. I came here to speak….'

That was when the child spoke with a sour tone that also had a bit of a bite to it. Pulling the hood down as they spoke revealing flaming red hair with strands of black styled like Andy Six emo haircut. The child had eyes that was an icy white. Also reveling a olive tone skin with light freckles across the bridge of the nose. It now became obvious that the child was human and male.

'We're here about my father is what she's trying to say. Can't you damn asari get anything out with out pussyfooting around it?'

They all looked at the child. Shepard knew she should say something before things got out of hand.

'Wow. Ok um so how can I help?'

'Maybe we should talk somewhere more private. Also you need to read this. It may clear up some things.'

Tevos suggested. And Liara gestered to the kitchen. Hannah stayed behind and decided to talk with the child. It was obvious to her that the matter at hand had to do with the child. Not only that but she also spoted the large duffle bag siting next to the door.

The ladies walked into the kitchen each one taking a seat at the table. Shepard took the datapad that was handed to her by Tevos. They waited while Shepard read the datapad.

_-_-_-Datapad Entry Start-_-_-_

_Marz,_

_Councilor Tevos or another asari councilor has arrived and along with them a child. I know you may wonder why an asari. Well its simple really. I trust them and they are one of the few who will live long enough to take care of this precious gift. I knew when this war started that there was a chance this could happen. If you are reading this then I am dead. I hoped that you would survive but in case you didn't I had other things put into place. The Councilor was informed that them options would only be available if your not alive.(Updated-if Liara is not alive)._

_So by now you are probly wanting to know what all this has to do with you. So I'll get right to the point. _

_The child is yours. Well ours to be exact. If you remember we looked into the whole thing with turning your stem cells into sperm. The doctor took a sample of them to see if yours was compatable to do the prociduger. _

_What I never told you was it worked. So before the breakup you remember I went to the doctor. Well I went to have them inserted. So the short of the matter is you are teticaly a father. Our child was born 8 ½ monts after you left. I had always been afraid to tell you. Yes I know I should have. _

_But back to the point at hand. _

_There was some little side affects that are not life threating that developed within the child. The most obvious it the color of the eyes. The icy white eyes. Then the two-tone hair. The Flaming red with black strands. The less then obvious is the slightly pointed ears. _

_When I noticed the ears was like that and not going away I was reminded of Spock from that old vid you would watch._

_So besides that he is healthy. He would watch vids of you becoming a Spectre and your N7 celebration. I also explained to him about you and us. When he got older. I told him that there was a medical procidegure that was done to take your stem cells and creat sperm. There is a great vid the doctors made that helps explane it to children. However he is realy smart. Almost a genius. _

_So I know you'll love and take care of him. Also sticking to the not so obvious way your mother named you and your brother. His name is Sol`Invictus Shepard. He is named ofter the Roman God of the sun. He was born September 4,2176. Before we went to the wedding I had a doctor's appointment. Then the fight happened and you were deployed again. I found out I was pregnant with him before you left. The Skyllian Blitz happened and you were right in the thick of it. I was giving birth to him while your life was on the line. Solus is what he prefers to be called._

_Please don't let him forget me. That is also my only other request. I know that we havent always been civil. At least this was something good that came from our relationship. Tell him I'm sorry and I love him. _

_Thank you for giving me the joy of being a mother. Take care of him and just love him like I know you will._

_With a heavy heart and a broken soul. I leave to you our son._

_Nichi Vitelli_

_-_-_-Datapad Entry End-_-_-_

When Shepard finished reading she had tears in her eyes. Liara got up and went over to her, she put her hand on her shoulder.

Tevos looked at Shepard. She had already knew. This was something that would take time. A moment passed and Liara spoke. Asking the only question she thought she knew the answer to.

'Please, Shepard just tell me what did it say?'

It took a moment for Shepard to collect her thoughts. When she did she looked up at Liara. Then smiled. Then she uttered the words she only knew she would say in an asari-human relationship that had children involved.

'I'm his father.'

All kinds of things went through Liara's mind. One of them being what to do now. In a slpit second she came to the conclusion they had to get furniture and clothes and food and many more things. Doctor apointmenst for him to make suer he was healthy and thinking about schools. She started to panic. Shepard and Tevos noticed this and helped Liara to a chair.

Shepard got some water for her. Then looked at both of them and back to the living room. Then after making suer Liara was ok she walked into the living room to face her awaiting son. Liara and Tevos followed shortly behind.

All eyes was upon her as she aproched Solus. She stood in frount of him. It was like watching her command the Normandy and her crew all over again. After a moment she spoke. It was a gentle tone.

'I welcome you into our home Solus. I don't know how things was with your mother but I will try to make this as confortable and welcoming to you as I can. That being said this is Liara's and my home. Now your home and the babies when they get here. As far as rules and such. We can discuss all of that later. For now we need to get you settled. So where is your things?'

Before Shepard was able to finishs that last part Tevos grabed the large duffle bag and placed it in frount of Shepard. Just as Shepard was about to grab it and have a look Solus jumped up and wraped his arms around Shepard and started to cry.

That was everyones clue to leave. They went into the kitchen. They talked for a few menuits and shortly afterwords Tevos and Hannah left. Leaving Liara to deal with things.

Liara went to the entrance way between the kitchen and living room to see if things was ok. What she seen was Shepard holding Solus close and rubbing his back. Trying to give him comfort. She knew that the times to come were going to be challenging for all of them. It was hard to loose the only parent you ever know. Then to be wisked away and droped off into the life of the parent you never actualy knew. One of wich was a premade family to be.

It was gonna take some time there was no doubt. While watching she could tell Shepard was starting to show sings of not knowing what to do. So she walked in to rescue Shepard.

'I came in to see if you needed anything Solus.'

Liara use a soft inviting and comforting tone as she spoke.

Shepard and Solus looked at Liara. Then Solus let go of Shepard. He looked Liara up and down. Then he spoke.

'So, you the one sleeping with my Dad?'

He said with a nastiness to it. It was like him speaking those words would somehow inflict pain upon Liara. Or worse.

That was totally not what Liara expected. So Shepard steped in.

'She is my bondmate, wife in human terms. Please don't talk to her like that.'

Shepard wasn't harsh in her tone but she tried to get the point across as gently as possible.

'I'm not stupid I know what bondmate is. And she never answered my question.'

Solus was pushing it. He was bitter when he spoke.

Oh so this was how it was going to be Liara could see it now. So before Shepard was able to sayanyting more she did.

'I see. Just so you know you can cut the attitude now. Also it was already answerd by your father. I also belive you never answerd my original question.'

Liara was calm and composed while talking to him. She didn't flinch or show any sings of anger. This was new to Solus. His mother was more emotional when dealing with him.

Solus looked at Liara. It was clear he wasn't going to be able to pull his shit on her. Not like he did his mother. So he droped his head in defeat and answer her question.

'I would like something to eat. Please.'

Liara looked at him and nodded. She had niped that in the but before it got to out of hand.

This was something new even for Shepard. Liara taking charge like that when she wasn't being the Shadow Broker.

So they all went into the kitchen and she fixed them all something to eat. The reast of the day was spent setting up a room for Solus and just talking. The rest of the night went smoothly as could be. Shepard and Liara waited for Solus to be asleep before they retired to their own bedroom.

This was a new time for the Shepard household. Something both Liara and Shepard was looking forward to.

* * *

_**I know alot of you are gonna bash me about the stem cell sperm thing.**_

_**So here is the deal. In real life as we know it. Doctors are working on stem cell and truning them into sperm and eggs. As of now it has been tested and successfull in mice. They are even working on making female sperm in some of the same way. Look it up or ask a doctor or even a scientiest or science teacher. So the fact of the matter is...I took something that is already being resurched and somewhat successfull in the real world and put it in the Mass Effect world and made it possiable. **_

_**Also if you still have a problem with that. Then here is an Mass Effect example of why it works. I got two words for you and they are**_

_**Miranda Lawson.**_

_**Once again this is not beta and is AU and not completly cannon. **_

_**I don't know if i'll leave this as the last chapter or not. Maybe one more. **_

_**please read and review. all reviews are welcom**_

_**thanks to all who do review and who just read.**_


	12. Chapter 12

To the readers, the fans, and followers,,…..

So I know that you may want to know more of what happens to Shepard and Liara and the family in the making. Like Shepards son Solus and the twins that are on the way.

The thing is I ended this story here. I wanted to end with what some would call a cliff hanger. I know, I know I eluded that the story was about the babies that Liara is pregnant with. However that was only a foreshadowing of finding out that Shepard already had a child.

The is what I leave you with.

I have considered writhing a second story to tell what happens with the twin babies. If they are healthy and what happens between Shepard and Solus. How the family is dealing with the change. It would also talk about what happened when Shepard left Javik behind. What was the option open only to him.

Like why the Geth and EDI are alive.

If I do decide to do a follow up that is a glimpse of what it will in tale.

So thank you all who have read and followed. It was a daring a great journey. Thank you all for the reviews. I will keep you ideas in mind if I do the follow up story.

I must say that I was highly surprised that I didn't get a pm or some review bashing me for that last chapter. However I would of liked some feed back for that chapter to just know what you all was thinking when you read it. Good or bad or a little of both. Maybe in time someone will give their two cents about it.

Until then I move on to my next story whatever that may be.

Stay safe and keep on keeping on.


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